14 May 2007

Please don't be mad at Mommy....

It's impossible for me to not have something to worry about. Sad, yet true. Currently, I'm obsessing periodically over how Conner is going to react when "new baby" arrives.

Shortly after discovering we were pregnant again, I whipped out the old "baby handbook survival guide"... you know... the one that's as thick as a phone book and tells you EVERYTHING you'd ever need to know about pregnancy, baby, toddler and everything in between.

I shuffled through the pages to find a short section on what to expect with a toddler and a brand new baby. The book wasted no time sugar coating, but then again that's why I like this book. It dove right in to portraying my future experiences with a 2 1/2 year old and newborn...

So sad.

Within the first paragraph it tells me POINT BLANK that Conner will basically hate me. No, it didn't say hate but in my pregnancy stupor, I can't recall the exact wording.

I was mortified. My precious little Conner being mad at me for having a new baby? Him feeling that mommy doesn't love him as much KILLS me. :( I am going to do everything in my power to make him feel included, but there are times where he is going to have to be a "big boy".

The biggest concern of mine is breastfeeding, it is so incredibly time consuming, especially during those first few months. I can't NOT offer the new baby the same benefits of breastfeeding that I offered to Conner (and he so graciously took for 13 months...)... that's just wrong in my eyes. Plus, financially ... I can't imagine having to PAY for that much formula, YIKES!

A friend of mine offered a few words of advice, letting me know that I need to enjoy these last 7 months of having Conner "all to myself", to take this time to slowly teach him the importance of playing by himself and being more independent... and that Conner will find a way to tell me when he is truly upset and not just pitching a fit, and when he is upset to know how to take him aside for some special "mommy and me" time. I am really depending on Michael to help with "new baby" and Conner. It will be very exciting for all of us, and I think Conner will really enjoy having a new playmate as a permanent fixture in our household.

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