14 May 2007

Please don't be mad at Mommy....

It's impossible for me to not have something to worry about. Sad, yet true. Currently, I'm obsessing periodically over how Conner is going to react when "new baby" arrives.

Shortly after discovering we were pregnant again, I whipped out the old "baby handbook survival guide"... you know... the one that's as thick as a phone book and tells you EVERYTHING you'd ever need to know about pregnancy, baby, toddler and everything in between.

I shuffled through the pages to find a short section on what to expect with a toddler and a brand new baby. The book wasted no time sugar coating, but then again that's why I like this book. It dove right in to portraying my future experiences with a 2 1/2 year old and newborn...

So sad.

Within the first paragraph it tells me POINT BLANK that Conner will basically hate me. No, it didn't say hate but in my pregnancy stupor, I can't recall the exact wording.

I was mortified. My precious little Conner being mad at me for having a new baby? Him feeling that mommy doesn't love him as much KILLS me. :( I am going to do everything in my power to make him feel included, but there are times where he is going to have to be a "big boy".

The biggest concern of mine is breastfeeding, it is so incredibly time consuming, especially during those first few months. I can't NOT offer the new baby the same benefits of breastfeeding that I offered to Conner (and he so graciously took for 13 months...)... that's just wrong in my eyes. Plus, financially ... I can't imagine having to PAY for that much formula, YIKES!

A friend of mine offered a few words of advice, letting me know that I need to enjoy these last 7 months of having Conner "all to myself", to take this time to slowly teach him the importance of playing by himself and being more independent... and that Conner will find a way to tell me when he is truly upset and not just pitching a fit, and when he is upset to know how to take him aside for some special "mommy and me" time. I am really depending on Michael to help with "new baby" and Conner. It will be very exciting for all of us, and I think Conner will really enjoy having a new playmate as a permanent fixture in our household.

2 comments:

  1. I too have the same worries. Avery is slowly beginning to try to understand..I think. I've always heard it's easier with a girl though because momma instincts kick in..so lucky me..sorry for you. :(

    Seriously though, I heard from a friend one time that if both children are screaming at the same time, it is better to tend to the older one because they will remember, whereas the younger one probably won't.

    I cherish these last few months with Avery..it's crazy that this time is going by so much faster than last.

    I also still can't figure out how I am going to be able to love another child as much as I do Avery. I guess God has a plan and it has worked up until this point!

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  2. jamey-good advice. I think we're all screwed. yessssss.

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