31 July 2007

How About ... No.

Have you ever felt the sudden urge to reach out in public to a complete stranger and touch their feet?

Me neither.

So I must ask what possessed the crazy old woman at Publix this morning to foot-molest my child. She was in her 50s (so she wasn't even that old!), poorly dressed and obviously off her rocker. I was standing at the fresh veggie section, picking out red potatos with Conner. He loves to hold open the bag and let me put each one in... one by one.. then he puts the spuds on the scale... then places the bag in the back on the buggy.

Anyways, in the middle of the veggie routine, this nut job walks up to him "oohhing" and "ahhing" at Conner's helping skills. Then she starts attacking his feet. The thing is, Conner normally LOVES to have his feet touched, but he gave her a face of disapproval and turned the other way. She kept on.. even though he obviously wasn't sharing the same experience.

I stopped ackowledging her foot obsession and kept on picking out veggies. She soon wandered off. Conner threw his bag into the buggy and away we went to get some OJ.

But there she was. I contemplated getting OJ later, but I knew if I left the area now that I'd never remember to come back. So, I started sifting through the expired OJ's to find one to my liking only to be interrupted by the sound of this psycho foot lady harassing my child AGAIN. She made strange dinosaur-like noises and obscure faces sure to frighten any age child. I can't imagine her children are stable.

Alas, I left. I never ackowledged her presence at the OJ cooler, so I assumed she had noted my cold shoulder and that she wouldn't be returning.


At the fish counter, I begin telling the fish lady that I would like 4 pieces of tilapia when out of NOWHERE crazy-foot-dinosaur-lady approaches Conner. He actually reached out and grabbed my shirt as she walked up! She started attacking his feet again and talking dinosaur jumbled. I had enough. I grabbed my fish and in mid foot-attack, I started to push my buggy away.

I never saw her again, thank God. I was about to go mad-preggo-woman on her.

So tell me... what possesses people to act like this? I've never felt compelled to touch anoher person's child much less harass them. Even further from that, I'm not going to approach a stranger of ANY age and make odd noises and pecular faces especially as a repeat offender.

Needless to say, Conner came home and took a bath asap and I made double sure to wash his feet. I just regret that I can't wash away the scars from his memory of this crazy woman touching him and his new fear of dinosaurs.


  1. hahahahaa!!!! hilarious. i know the feeling allll too well. though I actually got money for Aiden one time. this lady was like here's a dolla! take it and put it in his piggy bank! but she was actually sweet. so I did. good story

  2. Hahaha! Crazy foot dinosaur lady. That's funny.

  3. Iv'e had several crazy -foot ladies. The old people these days are mental. Ive had several people {old people} reach for my kids faces and try to even hold them. I reacted the same way. When kaden was a baby and i was pregnant and I was at the store and a old lady approached Kaden from my side that i could not see her and began poking and squeezing her. I flung Kaden around and gave her a look that must have had pain in it because she looked at me like i slapped her.If she had been where i could have i shure as heck would have. I keep a look out for freaks all the time, young moms are a huge target for kidnappers and pedifiles. I'll get you some brass knuckles to keep with you.hahahaha
    Chasa :)


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