18 January 2008


I've been having nightmares about the NICU, about having my newborn basically ripped from my arms and then told that something is wrong, nightmares about the hell my husband and son went through for 8 days... and all while I was supposed to be living in a dream world filled with new baby bliss, family and all things Christmas.

I spend at least 3 hours each night trying to sleep, only to re-live the events of Chase's birth and thereafter over and over. It's terrible - really - so, in efforts to get some sleep and rest my mind I've decided on "blogtherapy". Writing has always been a great source of relief for many things in my life and thus, I believe telling my story will help me to cope.

I've already begun the blog in a word document, as I fear it's going to take up a TON of space... and I'm probably right seeing I'm only into day 2 and the piece is 2 pages long. So, I hope to have it finished soon... for both my sanity and in hopes that I help another mom out there that finds herself in my situation (or something similar).

So, here's to me dealing with what happened... finding peace... and becoming a stronger woman and mother.


  1. I can only imagine how hard it was to go through what you did, & I'm sure I'll still say that even after you post your blogtherapy. I want you to know that I think what you're doing is admirable & incredibly brave. Most people never even come close to having to deal with all those tough situations at once, and they have a hard enough time handing their emotional scars. I'm sure it will take some time to heal & find your peace, but in the meantime... cut yourself some slack. Let yourself have a brief breakdown or two if you feel like you need it, then refocus on moving on. You're only human... & you're a hell of a lot closer to being a stronger woman & mother than you give yourself credit for. If there's ever anything I can do to help, please don't even think twice about asking. I'd be honored to do whatever I can.

  2. I don't know what to say in response to this post except that I'm glad you've found an outlet. Hopefully blogging will be very therapeutic for you!


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