Dear Slutty Regions Lady,
I am very aware that my husband's wedding ring is currently MIA, and yes... it must be very appealing to see men come in all dressed to the 9's in their business attire. I understand your desire for a man that has the ability to deposit cash into a banking account. Too bad you aren't aware that we are not, in fact, rolling in cash, but simply that the transaction was a monetary gift from his "mommy".
Maybe you should have taken the time to acknowledge that your customer's account was a joint one with another woman AND they shared the same last name. Furthermore, it wouldn't have hurt for you to notice the two linked savings accounts under the names "Chase" and "Conner" with birthdates within the past 3 years... and no... those aren't his dogs.
But, had you not paid attention to any of these things, oh Queen of the Deposit, might I school you in the world of dating and love for a brief moment.
You might be single for many reasons. Not the right "timing" or you've been a religious bad-dater. Maybe it's your inability to divide yourself away from your obviously demanding career. Either way, my personal take on it is this: Who, above the age of 9, signs deposit slips to married men with "Have a wonderful day" followed by a smiley face AND your name, Bonnie, with a heart above the "i"? Wow, how Lisa Frank of you.
Much Love from the "Little Mrs.",
Wrapping up our Disney 2017 trip
5 weeks ago