27 April 2008

When the rain JUST WON'T STOP


Chase won't stop screaming.. and I'm wondering where my mom keeps the "good stuff". Conner has finally accepted that "baby Chase a-crying" and is now marching up and down the stairs with his "nonna" singing "March..2..3..4". But, I can't concentrate on how adorable my son is when my other son just won't relent.

My grandmom came to my mom's house this afternoon to help. I'm utterly exhausted after a weekend sans Michael as he is in Chicago. Chase just can't be consoled. If he isn't screaming, then he is holding his breath or staring to cry... or giving one of many very, very short breaks in between huge fits.

He's been put on another medication that combines phenobarb and a drug called belladonna... it may sound pretty but it's not. At his last doctor appointment a few days ago his pediatrician told us he has stopped gaining weight. He now weighs in at an astonishing 9 lbs. 8 ounces... meaning he has totally fallen off the growth chart in the ways of weight (although he is still 50th percentile on height). The meds will help slow down his digestive system to help him retain more calories and help with his (pretend) "colic". My take is this: there is no colic.

But that leads me to my biggest fear: that something else must be wrong. And when I start to believe that... I hope I am just paranoid and mistaken. But... last time I felt like something had to be wrong ...my whole world ended up in the garbage disposal.

I suppose I could ask you all to pray for Chase, to pray that I maintain my sanity, that Conner doesn't get too neglected, that I don't end up blowing my brains out... etc... but honestly, I don't think any of that would work. What I really need right now is an answer. And after that - a solution.
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