06 December 2008

Perks of the Mom Job

There are COUNTLESS reasons why being a SAHM is a slamming good time, but I decided to blog a few. In no order, here’s a list of why the mom job has it’s perks.

The Uniform
Oh man, how I’d love to of worked at Chili’s or Friday’s in my favorite jeans and a tank top. It got HOT in those thick cotton tees that were NEVER in my size (X-tiny) and BLACK JEANS. It’s so impossible to look good in black denim.
AND THE SHOES, UGH! Come on now.
Or to have worked at Copper Grill not resembling a penguin. That’d've been sweet, but probably would’ve dented my tips had I of shown up in soffe shorts and a Game Day shirt. The other jobs - Corolla, Sun & Soul, Skate Station.. all had pretty relaxed uniform policies. No skanky clothes (check-ish), cover your boobies in a modest fashion (check, sometimes), don't wear your pj's (um, check, sadly), do your hair... shower... blah.

But, as a Professional Mommy of Mr. Chase and Conner, LLC there is no required uniform. I have could do it naked (or at least close to it, I do have windows… and neighbors... and the desire to prevent my children from mental trauma). Typically, I shower in the mornings and change into a different pair of sweats, soffe's, or yoga pants and a new tank top or t-shirt. If errands need to be addressed, I fashion the latest item of clothing that doesn’t resemble the later years of high school AND doesn’t have poop or dog hair or baby dribble on it.

The Hours
I COULD complain about SOME of the hours being a mom, but it does have it perks. Like when the kids sleep in and I don’t have to wake them because the only place we have to be is Nowhere Land or His Clubhouse and those things, my lovelies, also exist in the time void that is Tivo. Woot.

Speaking of the Hours… NAP!
Oh. Nap Gods. Thank thee for thyest most specialest of gifts... ye olde Nap! I am an absolute SLAVE to the naptime. I schedule everything around it and for more than just The Selfish Reason (see #3).
1) Without nap in the morning, Chase goes to nap early in the afternoon, causing him to wake earlier in the afternoon than normal… resulting in him wanting to go to bed at 6:45 at night… which then yields an AWAKE and “happy” baby at approximately 4:45 A-FREAKING-M.
I know you stopped reading. Pick up here….
2) If Conner doesn’t take his one afternoon nap (oh so smartly of me to have them together… again Shout-Out to the Nap Gods), he is a Giant Grumpy Pain In My B-U-T-T. No getting around it. He’s there… lurking in the misty shadows of our living room. Waiting for someone to ALLOW a commercial to come on, or for his JU-JUICE to POSSIBLY be EMPTY or for his train to even THINK about RUNNING OUT OF BATTERIES or… you get my point. He’s a giant pansy without the nap.
Then there’s 3) I love having two-ish hours to blog… watch tv… read…. shave my legs…. prepare dinner… do NOTHING.... It’s just nice to have some time alone with me. I’m good company.

The Paycheck
Ok so I don’t get PAID as in BANK. But, I do get an endless supply of kisses, hugs and unexpected-from-behind-full-on tackles by a 3 ½ pound monster and his side kick of practically equal weight WHENEVER THEY PLEASE throughout the day. I also don’t have to miss out on anything in The Land of Conner and Chase. Which rocks. It makes me warm and fuzzy on the inside AND gives me blogging material. An obvious win-win.

The Lunch Break
In the Professional World, people get lunch for an hour, maybe 30 minutes, and they brown bag. Some people have access to a microwave and fridge. I, on the other hand, have my whole freaking kitchen! Gas stove, gas oven, full range of utensils, access to my HUGE pantry… etc. I can have whatever I want as long as I’ve shopped for it. If you brown bag your lunch, you are eating that whether you change your mind or not. If you can leave and grab something… well… you’d better make it snappy. I’ve been known to think about lunch since breakfast and can figure some way to get What I Want before the clock strikes 12 (pm…) and my Little Princes turn to pumpkins. It’s definitely a plus in my book. But what can I say… I’m such a Food Whore.

Key points here, obviously, but I love being a Working from Home Without Monetary Benefit Momma *snort*


  1. I am halfway in your club and will soon be a full member of your club. I do like the hours, the naps (hallelujah) and the lunch breaks. However, I think there should be some sort of government program to increase the pay.

  2. Oh no, you're already a full member ;-). Relocating while preggo and with a 9-mont-old(?) qualifies you automatically.

    I love the idea of a government program for stay-at-homes... now how do we get that started?

  3. If I blogged, I would totally make a list of COUNTER points to each and every one of your arguments ...I could convince anyone (anywhere) that it's the hardest most unrewarding thing in the world! You and I see life as a SAHM very very differently !!! (Which is surprising, honestly. We usually agree on most things!!) I'm glad you like it, though! I'm assuming it makes it easier to do it. :)

    Oh, and the government program is called WIC and Food Stamps. Make too much money? Join the military! That'll take care of your too much money problem!

    Love ya girl!

  4. Oh Staci... Staci Staci Staci....

    I could EASILY counterpoint this blog on my own. Being a SAHM IS the hardest job in the world, I mean, even rocket scientist don't have to dig around in poop all day!

    With that sad, I'm considering this an official request for counterpoints from yours truly. Give me a few days and they'll be up!

    Love ya back!!

  5. Just found this post! I love it! I love your profile statement, too, as the first sentence can apply to me, too. My boys are 10 and 2 1/2 and I have been a full-time SAHM for over three years. I'm off to read your counterpoints now...


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