02 March 2009

Unasked Prayers

It's funny how God works. Normally, I am practically starring at the clock, begging the minutes to please march instead of c-r-a-w-l, then an internal conflict always arises as to whether putting the boys down 10,15 or 20 (hum.. 45?) minutes early would be ok ("Ok, so Chase did stir last night for a few minutes, then woke at 5, and wasn't really sleeping till 5:45, and was kinda up by 7... oh, and I know I heard Conner up at 12:30 and since it was Sunday, I'm sure a good cartoon was on so Michael didn't turn the tv off till late, which probably kept him up a bit longer... and..."). 

I am totally convinced that some days that clock hits 12, then giggles and throws itself back to 11:45 and Twitters about it to all his little clock friends, and BAM! There I am, stuck in a time/space warp without the possibility of it reaching The Time of The Nap (1:45 - give or take my sanity).

Then, this morning I got in a fight with my mother. Which, wouldn't be bloggable or blogworthy if it weren't for the fact that my mom and I don't fight. When I have an issue, no matter how annoying I might sound or wrong she is, I just say it and there it is - we either work it out, agree or disagree and that's it. But, what came out of my mouth today was not only warranted, but building like plaque in my arteries for months and needed to be said. Mary, The B.F.F., told me she was actually happy I finally talked about it to my mom, and that it was a time sensitive issue, so that I let 'x' time pass was a good thing - and now the deed is done.

I went about my Show and Dance daily routine with the boys - wake Chase from morning nap, make him lunch, start Conner's lunch, make my lunch, put Conner's lunch in front of him and beg him to eat, start the dishes, prep dinner, wipe someone's butt, find pants for said butt, etc etc

And then, Chase decided he wanted to play in the playroom alone (which he does, he's a very independent child and obviously unrelated to Conner) and Conner decided to sit and play a game for awhile, then color, then play with some cars... and I found myself reading a magazine standing in the kitchen, finishing off my salad. Then, I wandered through the living room and into the bathroom, grabbed my electric razor and sat over the side of the tub shaving my legs... then I decided it was time to chip off my old nail polish... and then I heard Pinky Dinky Doo...

But wait? Pinky Dinky Doo? That doesn't come on till... it's 2!!!

I grabbed Chase, changed him, put Conner in his room, kissed him goodnight, strolled Chase for all of 2 minutes, put him in his room, and THAT WAS IT. No extra kisses (not that I am in opposition). No getting up. No whispered "I need go pee-pee...". No strolling around my living room for 25 minutes. Easy as pie.

Um. Whoa.

The whole time the boys were being content, I was in my head (yet still listening out for my children, thank you DHR) thinking about this fight with my mom. I was going over the things I said and reaffirming the statements because I didn't say them to hurt my mom, I said them because they needed to be said. And then Mary text me the above statement in the middle of The Thinking, right as I heard the theme song to Pinky Dinky Doo and I realized that God had given me exactly what I needed... Space.

He had granted me a couple of hours to still take care of my children, but without TheFreakingOutOverNothings or the DearHeavensDon'tShoveYourBrothers or the ChaseStoleMyGAMEs. All of it - none of it - existed.

I don't know how many times I've either thought or yelled out "God PLEASE! I JUST NEED XYZ!" and really meant that HEAVENS LORD, a minute?!? PLEASE?!!? But, during those moments, God knew what I really needed was Mommy BootCamp and thus, he let me drudge through them and come out alive, even though I doubted I could.

All I needed was some thinking room...

I've heard before to thank God for the unanswered prayers, but today I'd like to thank Him for the ones that go unasked. 


3 comments:

  1. I know just what you mean. Right at the breaking point of your sanity the cloud with the silver lining sails in. Thank God he answers our unasked prayers~or I know to moms that would be crazy by now.

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  2. That is such a nice thought! Unasked prayers...I need to say a prayer and remember to thank Him for them.

    I have things left unsaid with my mom. I can appreciate your situation. I hope you have worked through it in your mind and that you feel better.

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  3. It's possible we're living the same life ...

    (well ... close to it, anyway)

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