03 May 2009

Alright, Who Let My Uterus Blog?

(dually titled: Wifi in my Uteri - harhar)

In case you couldn't see me blushing for the last 48 hours, just know I've been beet red (well, virtually beet red - this is The Internets).

It's not that my last post wasn't completely and exactly 100% what I am thinking and feeling, it's just that I'm either A) going balls out (excuse the term) B) really hormonal or C) absolutely bonkers. It's equally as plausible that I am all of the above or a whacked out combination of some of those letters and any of the 23 letters that follow.

I'm also very confident that shortly post post, my mother freaked out and called my grandmother, who then proceeded in phone-a-friend fashion to alert my aunt and by tomorrow (Sunday), my ovaries and I will probably be on some church bulletin in Pleasant Grove, Alabama as well as the conversation topic at Tuesday's Pot Luck Bingo Night.

Actually, none of that's probably true - my mom is good at staying mum (see what I did there? I slay me).

But the truth of it all, is that there's this kid. And, I've never ever been a "kid person". 

Feel free to do one of two things: 1) Gasp and have a "Oh dear, bless her sweet heart" moment and wonder how ANYONE could not like these blessed angels that walk amongst us AND think to yourself "well, if she's not a kid-person, then why the chicken is she having BABIES and BLOGGING ABOUT it!" or 2) Nod in agreement because at some point in your life, you've had the misfortune pleasure of knowing me pre-crazy monster/child hybridsbaby and were FLOORED when you discovered (stalked?) that I settled down with a wonderful Hubster and 2 amazing wee-ones.

So, this kid. He's just so amazing. Always active, constantly learning, growing daily - and get this: he's MINE:

But the absolutely BONKERS part of this, is that he's not an infant or a baby, not even a toddler anymore. I keep finding him in certain situations in which he looks LIKE A PERSON. And he can do all these... big people things....

...like catching his first fish by himself...

And the next part that makes my entire reproductive system twinge is that I know what happens next! It doesn't STOP! THEY GET BIGGER!

Maybe it's the extra sleep that finally sent a memo from my uterus to my blog (apparently, I'm no longer needed, they've memorized my login information). The memo must have read:
Alert: All necessary reproductive organs. Eyes have observed eldest offspring appears less childlike and more school-ageish. Second offspring now sleeping through night and has rid himself of morning nap. Gear up for Operation: Make Amanda Fat Again, that is all. This message will self-destruct or become blog-worthy in the next 30 seconds....
Yeah, my insides talk just like that.

And they have a point! Or do they... could this be that Baby Clock most mid-twenty-somethings get? But see... I've already DONE this. Got the t-shirt and ultra-cool take home mug with hospital logo and EVERYTHING. I even got the honor of both a "normal" birth and one that ends in tears of delirium followed by 4 months of hell (woot.).

A lot of you said (wonderful) things like: you've got time, and it's ok, I feel your pain, and if you have another, it's fine to want a boy but you'd survive if you had a girl. Several of you went on with your bad selves and wished another baby on me, Donya... that FedEx package is my patented Fertile Juju Pregnancy Sauce, it also comes with a home pregnancy test, enjoy

Many of you pointed out that Someone Bigger Than Me (ok, I'm 4'10", almost ALL of you are bigger than me...) (I meant GOD) has His plan, and I should keep my so fresh and so clean clean (thanks swine flu) paws out of the Worry Department and more in the Raise The Kids You Have and See What Happens Department. As always, all of you made excellent points (and as always, I heart all of your faces...).

I can do that? Right? Let Go and Let God? But what about all that baby stuff? For now, let it sit and multiply. 


  1. Just let it sit and multiply. Seriously. Unless it's bugging you that much. And of course, if it really gets to you and you have to do something, then - get rid of it. If you do have another, you can always get more! :)

  2. Chasity~ 1 & only03 May, 2009

    I totally Heart the vacuum seal bags. I have two Extra Large bags. The size of you actually filled with baby boy and girl clothes. I have two others filled with the baby bedding sets again, one boy one girl. I couldn't let go knowing 1) How friggin expensive it would be to buy brand new again 2) My fresh newborn babies both slept in these clothes & sheets 3) I think I'm a little bonkers like you too. I still have my crib and all my baby furniture put up. I'm not even dating anyone much less do I plan on getting pregnant ANY time soon. I think saving pieces of things that mean a lot to you is important. Not just for your sanity but also in case your uterus decides to do anything crazy drastic like grow a baby. Only thing, the bags get Hella heavy when you vacuum out the air~kinda crazy but, beware.

  3. Are you going to have the fish mouted? Just asking.

  4. @Mrs. Moose - I'd feel bad that Chase got hand-me-downs but New Baby got New Stuff... I'm weird.

    @Chasa - I've considered vacuum seal bags....

    @Lauren - Nope. We always let the fish back in. Only things we ALWAYS kill (so far..) are snakes and ants (sorry, Rob).

  5. @Lauren - Oh, and spiders. Spiders must die.

  6. WiFi in my Uteri - that's funny!

    I'm one of those obscure info picker-outers so - You are really only 4'10"? I'm 5'8" with a size 11 WIDE foot - I would look like an Amazonian giant to you! (And the sad part is that I was this tall/big in sixth grade, when I really was a giant - talk about issues!)

    My 10yo begged to have the catfish (tiny) that he caught in Alabama. Didn't happen...yet.

  7. Oh our crazy interussesss. I like how you put it Uteri... heehee... Mymiddle just turned 7. I have had babies and preschoolers for so long. What a switch. It's crazy...

    And you're so silly fun! Thanks for sharing your link! *bigsmile* :)

  8. @ Blondie - Well, 4'10" and 3/4th an inch... Some people find my shortness to be deceiving, as I am completely (and almost abnormally...) proportioned. It "surprises" people when I stand up. I've had the same response over and over and over again for most of my life - "OH! Whoa... you're SHORT!"

    Well, um. Yes, Master of the Obvious, I am.

    But, yup - me = equal short ;-)
    And YOU? You = tall! My b.f.f.w/o.child (i have a BFFw/child), is almost 5'7". We have a hard time taking pics together...

    @jenny - It really should've been the actual title of the blog, now that I think about it. I even giggled at myself.

    And 7? Um. That number might make me have a stroke. EEK!

  9. In your last few posts, I've felt as if you were writing on my behalf...I have two boys, I'm kind of terrified of a girl (but kind of want one too) and my ovaries are screaming at me for the same reasons.

    But...I've been getting rid of all the stuff. Because I can't stand stuff being around and not in use. A friend reminded me that lots of people always want to give you their stuff if you get pregnant again, so I'm gambling. :)

  10. @ Heather - EEk! I know. It's unbelievably awesome to hear about other mommies who are in a similar pickle.

    And you do have a fabulous point - I could get rid of some stuff, and pray that my giving friends would make up for the rest if I fell preggers.

  11. Oh, my gosh, your uterus is so funny! I am literally cracking up! Mine started screaming out like that after my second child, too! The third is so incredible- you relax just enough to have fun with all their stages!!

    I am just now getting to read the posts from Your Life Your Blog last week - way behind! I hope you link up tomorrow!


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