19 August 2009

Live Blogging ISH of "Parents Night" and Conner's "Meet My Teacher"

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Now back to our regularly scheduled bloggy blog:
Last night was, wait... let me go find the paper so I can call it by its proper title... ah - "Parents Night". Which should really be more appropriately titled any of the following:

  •  "Parent Night" (not plural seeing as children are not welcome and they do not provide daycare and we live in a city heavy with military and people who don't have arm fulls of family to help keep the kids, so it ends up with one parent being left in the dark...)
  •  "We Do Not Believe That You Will Read The Manual, So We Are Going to Read It To You As Well As Degrade You About Not Reading It on Your Own" Night
  •  "Let's Keep You Out Till 8:30 On A School Night" Night
  •  "Sit in Tiny Chairs" Night
OR
  • "Meet the Teacher" Night.

For PR reasons, I'd recommend the last one. Although the second is soooo dang catchy, but we are all about saving ink, right?

So, they basically read this manual to you a-la "SATs during school" style. You know "do not open this booklet till I say the time has begun. This is a timed test so please keep track of your progress. It is now 10, this test will begin at 10:05 and lasts for 25 minutes - MEANING it will end at 10:30 because DUH - you can't do math, which we will learn from the math portion of this test. Now.... let me read you 3 whole paragraphs on how to properly fill in a bubble with a pencil, because we don't test for that..."

And then they read it.

And it's great.

Here's a snip it of internal dialogue from about 2 minutes in:

Me: "Why won't Twitter pull up...."
Them: "No one reads the manual, everyone should read the manual, let me highlight what is in the manual since we just don't believe you people... Ok, parking... is..."
Me: "Oh! Score! FB is working..."Amanda is not paying attention... should I or shouldn't I read the manual..."
Them: ...oh... who knows what they were saying...
Me: "Wow... the weather should be stormy tomorrow through Friday... 90 again on Saturday but then back into the upper 80s. Not bad... Let's check on Twitter again"

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You know God is trying to tell you something when you show up AN HOUR EARLY for this meeting AT CHURCH. It was good 'me' time though, and I managed to keep it together. Which is good.. seeing as I've been "keeping it together" for the last day + by doing anything I can get my fingers on. 
And then when I thought I might lose it? Another mommy friend from Conner's class last year came walking around the corner. She was an hour early, too. Weird.

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Conner's teacher is the "loving but stern" type - exactly what he needs! She reminds me of my mom. She seems to know what is typical childlike behavior and what needs to be dealt with in a firm manner. I appreciate ALL people like this in Conner's life. He needs it round-the-clock.

At one point she said "I won't call you if it is typical childhood disobedience, I will call if the child is habitually bad..."

I thought "Should I tell her I have free nights and weekends?"

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They use a red light system: green =  good, yellow = warning, red = Conner.

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At this age, they start doing specific bath room times. I have NEVER agreed with this logic. There is no other time than in school that you are told outright "Frickin HOLD IT" and for children? This must be especially hard. If you have to go, then go! I do understand not letting them abuse it though.
Think about it - yes, there are times you have to hold it in Big People World - but you are AN ADULT and can DO SO. In middle/high school? I risked many a pair of pants because of those retarded rules.
"Luckily", I got Conner out because of his medication which can make him go from "no" to "NOW" in a few seconds - easily.

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The teacher had us draw a picture of our children for them to see on Friday (first full day) (yeah, I know.. she made us COLOR). Here's mine:


Here's what I considered:


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Mrs. Conner's Teacher gave me her email address. I told her I could write her a novel about Conner's behavior issues as well as everything we have tried and also his medical crap right now. 
I momentarily contemplated referring her to my blog archives....

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They use a book called "Writing Without Tears"
I call that "typing".

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She said the parties will be "stress-free". I've never THOUGHT of bringing vodka. Good call, Mrs. Conner's Teacher, GOOD CALL.

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Today, after our "hour run" of school (also known as: WASTE OF TIME), I overheard a mother calling her son. She yelled out "Quarter!" "Quarter come here". I was right beside her. There's very little chance this was a mistake.

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He got a slap bracelet. Apparently, they are no longer considered "lethal".


6 comments:

  1. I am actually rolling across my bed laughing like a crazed idiot about the poor kid named Quarter...good job Amanda:)

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  2. Oh that was priceless. I have my own version of meet the teacher on Saturday. It's just for preschool - but just as painful! LOL!

    Hope the first day of school goes well!

    ~ Jennifer
    http://thetoyboxyears.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, and this also had me laughing today, but be warned it's nowhere near PG-13 (there's a link from my facebook too)

    http://whywomenhatemen.blogspot.com/

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  4. You know you're in the south when your son is in class (or a school) with a kid named Quarter.

    Ok, maybe Yonkers too.

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  5. I've considered many, many times whether she actually said "Porter" BUT there is NO FRICKIN WAY. She SO said Quarter. And to better assure myself she did, in fact, name her child "Quarter" I keep reminding myself that he DID have on cowboy boots. I'm thinking "Quarter horses"???

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  6. HILL-AIR-E-US!!! :o) Cute Coloring job of Connor! ;o) lol

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