18 September 2009

The 26-Hour Check Up

Somehow, I'm not stressed out about any of the following...

I loaded both kids into the car and headed to Birmingham for Conner's REAL follow-up visit with the Pulmonologist ("lung doctor").
His appointment was for 2:45, so at least I was able to take my time and get out the door at a reasonable hour without having to wake anyone early (including moi), or shoving pancakes down anyone's throat because of The Time, or skipping on drying my hair (or putting on deoderant...) - I was able to do everything on a Ack! No! Panicking! Schedule, which rocked.

I packed up all of Chase's necessary nap time things - Panda ("Pandy"), his noise machine (if it were on in this room right now, this blog would look just like this - *drooooolssssssssssssssssssssss* "zzzzzzzzzzZzzzzz"...( it's like sleeping in the womb of a whale while she rocks you in the deepest part of the ocean, being serendaded by a 4-string quartet lead by Mr. Sandman AND you are on an IV drip of Xanax)., his books, etc. - important that you are keeping up here...

Chase was fussy, which he is normally not, but he is cutting a tooth (really late tooth-cutter he is) - so we stopped and had MILOS! with my mom before making the last 20 minutes of the trek to her house for Official Chase Dropping Off and Nap Area Set Up.

Plan: She'd keep Chase since he naps from 130 - 330 and I'd take Conner to Children's. Because Children's is the Haven of All That Is Nice to Parents, I figured I'd be out by 4, at my mom's to pick up Chase by 430iiiish and on the road and home by 7 at the latest (traffic).

*record scratches*

But, not so much....

Dr. Lungs was way McBacked Up, so there I waited. Thing is, waiting at Children's is somehow different because A) I know they FRICKIN CARE B) There are about 28 different tv's all set to child appropriate things C) Wagons. Hello? D) A shop that has CHOCOLATE! PUDDING! and E) Wifi for MEEEE

So, I really didn't notice that our 2:45 appointment wasn't "answered" until... um... almost 5?

In short, we upped Conner's meds and he is responding very well to them. He grew accustomed to his dosage a few weeks back and had fallen back into his "but! i'm tired!" routine, and then got sick - and I really had almost forgotten how "lazy" he used to be. Now? The medication has increased his lung function to "normal" and he has the energy a 4-year-old boy SHOULD have.
Yes, that means naps are almost completely gone... sigh... but he's healthier, so what more can I ask for?

They also put him on a nebulizer for his rescue albuterol. Which, in Conner Land, translates into him getting  to look like a fighter pilot when he gets sick.

Sweet, eh?
(Plane not included)
(Don't worry, I asked)

And some darling people are going to come to my house and track in swine flu teach me how to use it.

Speaking of flu, Conner got his flu shot there (almost a "requirement" of a pulmonology patient...) and he will also be first in line to get the swine flu vaccine. Yes, I am aware I am electing to give my kid known carinogens, but the flu would land Conner in a hospital bed. And I've already done Christmas at Children's once. Let's not repeat, mk?

"Fun" Children's Hospital Thing:
In all the rooms, and I remember this vividly from the NICU, they have these containers of wipes - alot like Clorox Wipes, but on some serious 'roids.

Once while spending unimaginable lengths of time in the NICU, I picked up a container and read the label (I am a confessed Label Reader). I was SHOCKED at what these things could kill and the outside was always marked with a bright yellow sticker that said "WEAR GLOVES".

Let's see if you can catch the most "really? WTF?" part of the label (this is just a product description from a medical supplier's website):

Super Sani-Cloth Germicidal Disposable Wipe contains 55% alcohol to achieve faster kill times.
Cleans, disinfects and deodorizes hard non-porous surfaces.
Kills a broader range of bacteria and viruses including: RSV and TB in 1 minute; HBV and HIV-1 in 2 minutes.
Proven effective against MRSA.

Well, RSV is a respiratory illness that is normally contracted before the age of 2 and can be very dangerous, even deadly to newborns, preemies or those with pre-existing conditions. I've stated before that I believe Conner's RSV not being caught by a certain screwy pediatrician is part of the reason he has asthma.

Next, TB - tuberculosis. We all know what this is.

HBV is Hepatitis B... and then...
HIV - yes, HIV! As in... "almost AIDS"... these wipes kill "almost AIDS"..

...and then there's MRSA, which is staph (and the "bad staph" too) and VRE which is a mutant version of a dangerous infection that is sometimes antibiotic-resistant. (it these wipes also kill the other common stuff too, like flu and colds and strep... etc.. but DUDES! THE AIDS??!? Awesome. (they should hand these out at frat parties) (or make them in condom form...) (and give THOSE away at frat parties)

I like to wipe down my life with these things every time I go to Children's (don't charge me, thanks). Yesterday, that inlcuded: my purse, my car keys, my computer, my cell phone, Conner's eyeballs, tongue, hands and lungs and everything in the diaper bag-turned-computer bag because NO ONE wants a hand job home-cooked meal.

Eventually, we got to leave but it was starting to rain and much later than I had planned.

We "shut that s**t down", one might say:

(Notice the locked-down windows and empty waiting room)

Conner proclaimed to me that he was "freaking STARVING" (direct quote), so I did what any good mother would - loaded him up on chocolate ice cream (it had been promised after The Shot).

Thing is, they had those pint-sized (that's 2 cups or SIXTEEN ounces) Blue Bell ice creams in the Shop at Children's? Yeah.. I set him up in his car seat with a spoon, lots of napkins, and specific instructions to put the top of when he got full so the rest wouldn't spill out. Eventually, he did put the top on and held it till we got to my mom's house...
And when I went to take it from him...
There were maybe 3 bites left.

Can't blame the kid.
He was freaking starving and all....

We stayed at my mom's, somehow had extra diapers for Chase and wipes and everything I really needed aside from clean underwear...
So we came home this afternoon, the kids are now napping, it's looking like it's going to rain again... and I'm blogging away.
And all that "change of plans" and "eek! sleeping away from home without notice and TWO KIDS!" and "waiting at the doctor's" and I? Well... I am apparently a Big Peoples now because I didn't even once REMOTELY freak out.

Maybe I'm still high from handling those wipes without gloves?


  1. Freaking starving - love it!

    Don't you wish we could charge doctors who waste OUR time in THEIR waiting room???

  2. Hate to disappoint, but you realize it said it only killed those things on HARD SURFACES, right? And those times are related to how long the surfaces stay wet with the residue of said wipes. But, yeah, that's pretty awesome that they kills such horrendous germs...

    Sorry you had such a time of it, but I'm glad it all worked out for you with only a reasonable amount of stress. :) How'd Chase do at Grandma's? I'm assuming beautifully. :)

  3. I can relate the the label reading. When Aaron was in emerg in June our area was next to the pediatric respitory cart and I was reading all the labels on the draws and thinking to myself "I know that word, and this word, I rock!" I took a medical terminology course last year and it stuck with me.

  4. Freaking Starving haha!!

    We have those wipes! I am beyond obsessed with them, they are my favorite cleaning product for reasons you so perfectly stated!

  5. This is hilarious. :-)

    Also, I am a huge fan of Fun With Antibacterial Wipes. I especially love the ones at the grocery store. I like to take one (or maybe two) when I leave the store which I use to wipe down my hands, my steering wheel, the stick shift, my keys, and the door handle. I'd be all over those monster wipes from the hospital. Sounds like you hit the mother lode!

  6. @ Erin - YES! Except maybe this doctor, I'd let him slide. He's too frickin nice.

    @Mama Fuss - BLAHBALHBLAHBALAHAHHHHHHHHHHH I can't hear youuuuuuuu....
    I did not, in fact, wipe down anyone's hands/face/tongue OR lungs. Shocking, I know. I did wipe down my phone and the laptop and the bottom of my purse and my keys... oh, and then a few odd hard-surfaced things I found in my purse.

    @Tamara - I'm considering getting some from the medical supply company that is supplying Conner's nebulizer. My clorox wipes DO NOT state they kill Almost AIDS. SHAME ON THEM.


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