Because you have work, and my site isn't blocked.
So, this week I have that giveaway that everyone should enter because it makes you pretty and because Jesus loves you and because if you don't, you risk premature baldness.
No, seriously. That's all been proven by scientist in labs with SCIENCE and crap and NONE of them look like this:
I'm sure you've seen their work. Very prestigious.
But this post isn't about the giveaway (why are you STILL READING THIS?!?), although I really don't have a clue what is *it* supposed to be about. That's kinda how I roll.
Let's see... TV IS PICKING BACK UP. Praise Jesus. And cable.
I enjoyed Army Wives this weekend, which made me miss part of The Tool Academy 2 (for. shame. on. me). But, the tools are back and just as douchey as ever. Fantabulously so.
Speaking of Army Wives...
Dear Army Wives,
STOP MAKING ME CRY.
The Mom Job
I'm kinda under contract not to talk about Tool Academy. First rule of Tool Academy is not to talk about Tool Academy and secondly, I am really that other girlfriend that comes out to say "hey! that's not YOUR tool, it is MY tool, so get the eff lost, WHORE" that comes mid-season.
And I'm all pregnant with triplets that me and MY tool made in a gas station right after your graduation from Junior College.
And he also bought me a trailer because HE LOVES ME (he said it could be a double-wide if I keep stripping through my pregnancy to pay for his hair product... see? LOVE)
Sorry, VH1, you can sue me allllll you want. But, feel free to offer me my own reality show.
Which, by the way, won't be "Amanda Wants a Murderer". Megan kinda has the corner on that one. Who wants to bet he made it to the top 3? She's a WINNER AT LIFE.
Top Chef is rocking my face off. And making me hungry. Sooooooooooooooooo hungry. They've been using a LOT of fresh seafood to start the year off which only makes me want to hump the next person that offers me fresh seafood. And not just offer, but PONY UP... I'm thinking... some nice ahi tuna (die) and shrimp and ooooooo some crab. Yes, please.
And, I'd also like to thank Bravo for Flipping Out and the Rachel Zoe Project.
Rachel is frac-tastic. Love her. She's the perfect balance of totally insane and completely spot-on. Not many (if any) can do that. I watch that show after Top Chef, which leaves me wanting to eat a lot AND shop.
Who would NOT want to be her?
If you just said "not me", go ahead and de-friend me. No, really. She's amazing.
Last week, she actually managed to get up the balls to ask CHANEL to ALTER a haute couture gown. I mean, who else can do that? Not only does she ask to change it, she knows HOW it should be changed so that the American public doesn't go all "what the f' is Cameron Diaz WEARING" just because it's a little too "forward thinking". She asks Chanel to CUT. OFF. A. SLEEVE?!?!?!
I would have died. Right there. Period.
Now, as soon as Grey's Anatomy starts back and House, I will be good as gold.