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But, a vow is a vow and somehow, really I guess it's how much I love him and care about what he cares about, but SOMEHOW I've retained a CRAP TON of said knowledge.
Like, a lot.
For instance, I know what a toxic asset is (even before that word was plastered below every other headline about failing financial institutions who back crappy mortgages). By definition (thank you Google), it's a term for assets (or "stuff") that has exposed the holder to large losses.
In our house, our mortgage has become a toxic asset. Our home isn't worth what it once was, we bought at the peak, our Adjustable Rate Mortgage is flying high with the birds and all that jazz. But, I've told you about this before.... and ... I'm happy to report that we are working with our financier to re-do our mortgage (it might not necessarily be a refinance, so I'm using "re-do" for now... work with me people).
Yes, this toxic asset has prevented us from financial freedoms we would have otherwise had. Moreover, it's held us from moving back home to be with our families. But, God has a plan and for now, we are happy.
But....
Financial woes aren't my point here. (see that, I have NO transitional, so I came right out with it... the journalist in me just died a little... but it's ok... she's been dead for years...)
What about those in our lives that are or become "toxic assets".
Recently, I've had to purge my life of one person that has been absolutely nothing but a toxin. This person causes hell and havoc at every twist and turn, taking down everyone within arms reach with little to no remorse for their actions. Piles of use, abuse and neglect for anyone who cares to attempt to help for this person.... sadly, an all-around parasite.
I know that is harsh, but reality is what it is.
So, what if ... the toxins are in your blood? As in, the person who is toxic to you, the bad in your life, is related to you? It makes it more difficult to get away (blood is thicker than water...). In this case, it bought nothing but time - more time for this person to do more damage.
In other times of my life, depending on the stage, my reaction would have been different. At one point, I would have held on tight - told myself that I deserved no better. That person is gone, and I hope to never, ever, ever run into that "me" again.
But you grow. You learn. You move on from what hurts. At this point in my life, I know that letting go of what's pulling myself and those around me down will only make us stronger.
What time has done for me is miraculous. What distance has done is just as amazing.
Moving away from my family and friends is so incredibly difficult, but in that I learned a valuable lesson about "Golden Friends".
make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold...Those friends, the ones that mean the most, are there through everything, no matter the distance and share something so special that nothing can break it. My friends - my circle - are my backbone.
No measure of space, time and distance can separate those that are priceless, but no amount of blood can justify a toxic relationship. So to this person, goodbye. I'm glad to be rid of you.
(and since I can't be serious for too long, I would like a show of hands for how many of you, at any point in this post, started singing, humming or thinking about Britney's Toxic... that includes NOW as well... teehee)
