I Apologize In Advance For Boring You - Cleaning Tips & Questions

I can't stay WELL. Ge'ez. Sore throat, glands swollen, feels like someone is choking me. What. Ever. Save the "sorry, hope you feel better's"... it's not good to entertain the antics of a hypochondriac.

It is hard, however, to be funny when your insides are trying to convince you to press the Internal I Quit Button.

So, what I can do is contribute to The Mom Job AND The I Have A House TOO! But No Kids Job with the following:

1. We have hard water. That is an understatement. Our water leaves clouds all over my glass shower within ONE DAY of cleaning. And my go-to cleaner, Scrubbing Bubbles, won't get the job done. So, with a little help from Mrs. Google, I tried the following:

Make a paste using powder laundry detergent and water. Apply paste in circular motion to glass surfaces in shower. (I like not having to break a sweat, and I didn't if that tells you how effortless this is). Let sit for a minute, then rinse with hot water. I towel dried afterwards so the water I used to clean doesn't re-dirty my shower.

Endless battle, but clean shower. And it smelled like fresh laundry!

2. I keep a bottle of 1/3 vinegar, 2/3 water for a few things: windows, glass surfaces and granite counter tops to name a few. But this power cleaner can do so much, including getting a streak-free clean on black appliances like ovens, dishwasher fronts, the fridge ("fri-ja-frator" in Conner Land), and microwaves. Works like a charm.

3. Kids or no kids, the absolute best rags to use are cloth baby diapers. I thought I could do the whole cloth diaper bit, but it just didn't work for me (and I applaud all of you moms that CAN do it, because the laundry about nearly killed me trying).

So, I started using them around the house 3.75 years ago and still have the same ones. They are ULTRA absorbent, for obvious reasons, and can clean up spills better than 15 paper towels.

I use a damp one to wipe down dusty surfaces (sorry Pledge, you make dust come back faster for some reason, anyone else experience this?). 

Sooo many uses, I recommend picking up a bag of them.

4. Hardwood floors get a bathtub full of hot water, a SMIDGEN of dish soap and a splash of Pine Sol (orange flavored, please). It's VERY diluted (thus, bathtub full). I use a mop (duh) but wring it out very thoroughly. Clean, shiny, yummy smelling and disinfected. 

5. Kitchen floors get the sink filled with hot water (HOT HOT), 1/4 cup bleach and a squirt of dish soap. Mop once, then rinse mop, empty sink, refill with hot water and run over the floor again. 

Now for my questions:

1. How in the WORLD do you clean your mirrors? Our bathroom is like, 98% mirrors and I DESPISE them. Once I hike my arse up on the counter top and do the Death Match Parade of Mirror Cleaning Shame, I still can't get them clean enough.

Done? NO! Missed about 15 spots! 

It's not the cleaner, I tried Windex (and don't use it anymore, except on the outside of our glass doors). I found that the aforementioned vinegar and water mixture works best. I SWEAR it's either the technique or the rags/paper towels (both seem to give me equal, yet unacceptable results). WHAT DO YOU DO? (and don't say don't clean them, I've tried that...)

2. No seriously, how do you clean mirrors 5 ft. high  and 10 ft. wide with no streaks??? I need to clean the one on my bedroom ceiling too. I KID! That's just nasty.

3. Do you have a "cleaning schedule"? Are you OCD about it? Mention it in front of other moms just to make them cringe? OR do you really follow it? If you are of the last variety, let me know what you do. I've tried a schedule, but can't get it down. I have my lazy days and my super-ultra-someone-give-me-a-Valium-STAT days in which The Schedule was thrown in the trash.

4. I hate laundry. Should I seek therapy or just throw away all our clothes? For serious though - I'm tired of liking a new clothing item only for it to look 7 years old after 2 washes. I use Tide Ultra HE for Front Loaders (can't use anything else really, makes me sneeze). Does great getting things clean, but fades my darks. I use really cold water. Promise. Do you add anything to your darks? 

This post is way too long and you stopped reading 3 minutes ago. Sorry about that. Why did I publish this?

Ooohh... you guys get to see Conner's Preschool Class Picture sometime in the next few days, once I blur out all the other Angels' Faces. It's a real treat (you've GOT to see Conner... I can't even believe I'm purchasing this picture. IT'S THAT BAD)

My little guy

I've succomb to the out-of-controllness that is Conner's room as of yesterday. It was crazy. We have more parts to random toys, gadets, household items and unexplainables than a white trash yard sale. So... I decided to take action and proclaim war on his little baby oasis.

He wasn't thrilled.

I started by sorting through his knick-knacks... anything smaller than my hand went into a brown woven basket. Surely, I thought, this would be his least favorite thing and I could just hide it somewhere until I found the nerve to throw it out.

Then came moving his toy box. All 93 pounds of me hauled it right across the hallway and into the guest room/ soon-to-be playroom. Wow. That broke a sweat.

I emptied it out knowing full well the task at hand. Conner has recently been in his own little war of sorts, in which he always looses. The poor little guy goes wandering into his room and over to his 3 foot deep wooden toy box, only to notice that it is 1/3 full and most of the toys (if not all) are out of reach. So his solution? Lean over so far that he can barely touch a toy, then get stuck in the "V" position, upside down, head first into the toy bin and feet off the ground.

I'm sure that's great for his rib cage.

Sadly, his cries are muffled by the wooden box and it usually takes me a minute to get to him and fish him out. Please don't call DHR.

Alas, I've decided to place several folded old sheets and towels into the bottom of his toy bin until he decides to gain a few inches. Good luck with that one kid.

Now, all toys are in reach. But that's not his new interest, of course.

I put together his train track, train and all... but he hasn't bothered with it yet to realize that the time he decided to throw it into a bath tub full of H2O meant it is no longer operational.

His favorite pretend vaccum, with real vaccum noises, sits beside the toy box accompanied by his poppling pusher and a few little tykes cars.

Then, as I bask in the glory of a partially fulfilled task... I note that the basket of crap is gone.

Conner has removed himself and taken over the living room. The basket lies in the hallway, empty.

I follow the trails of old bath toys, playthings from kid's meals, a leggo or two, the b.s. his grandparents give him (crap from CVS or Winn-Dixie that they have at the counter... they think its cute... I find it to take up a nice little area in my weekly trash). I pass by a plethora of old cell phones, dating back to his newborn days. There's my nokia, michael's 1st.. 2nd.. and 3rd motorola replacements, one Razr (stupid for me to have even purchased it), an ebay phone that was awesome seeing as we didn't have to fork over the cash for one through Cingular (literally a life saver), an LG (my mom gave him that one), and two fake ones he never showed interest in.

He's made it all the way into the kitchen with this trail-o-poo-toys and found the parts to a refrigerator game he once loved. And he is as happy as a pig in mud playing in the floor by the dishwasher.

All my work paid off. Just hope one day he notices I moved his stuff.

Obviously, he has a thing for items that don't normally qualify as toys....