Counting Sheep

Armed with a free sample of Ambien CR, I set out to bed last night expecting a few things:
1) Sleep
2) Hallucinations
3) That groggy feeling in the morning.

I’ve suffered from occasional insomnia since high school and after the great Amanda Doesn’t Sleep for 10 Whole Days Incident of my Senior Year, I’ve become rather paranoid about not going to bed on time. Call it my inner-dork, but I have a bedtime and darn it, I’m sticking to it. Now if only someone would tell my insides and my brains that so we could ALL WORK TOGETHER!

Right.

So, after a few weeks of having Issues with Sleep, I decided to pop 1 Ambien CR at around 8:15 (usually it takes 45 minutes for me to Feel the Effects and I wanted to be good and tired for my 9:15-9:30 bed time and I had a Really Long Day that I’ll tell you all about in a minute…).

At 8:40 I set out to nurse Chase to sleep and that’s when the hallucinations began. Oh man, when I had Conner back in 2-oh-oh-5 they gave me Real Ambien to help me get some sleep while they started the Cytotec. Two problems there: First, don’t give a pregnant woman sleeping medicine and then expect her to STAY AWAKE FOR 3 HOURS TO FILL OUT PAPER WORK THAT MIGHT BE VITAL TO HER LIVING! And secondly, The. Bed. Wouldn’t. Stop. Moving. As in full-on hallucinations I believed my bed to be on an ocean and kept asking Michael why he was moving my bed and the floors were moving and the walls were spinning and then there was That Commercial About Buying Alpacas…. So it was all really trippy and what-not. Needless to say, I’m SOOOO glad I’m not an LSD addict.


Oh yes, last night. So, I’m lying there expecting all these crazy hallucinations when suddenly the sleepy feeling sets it. But not the Drunk on Nyquil feeling I expected, but a pleasant drowsiness. Then, I began concentrating on the pillow on the other side of Chase. The way the light hit the ruffles in the pillow sham… wait… is that a sheep? Oh my! With the fan breaking up the light… and man… it looks soooo fluffy.

Thing is… I was conscious enough and informed enough about Ambien Hallucinations to KNOW that there was - IN FACT - no sheep in my bed. But it was kinda hilarious as I sat there, starring at it and all its BAH-RAM-EUWssss. I reached out to touch it, almost expecting the full on fleeciness associated with sheep to meet my fingers (no such feeling). I kept thinking my eyes would adjust and the sheep would disappear, but I just sat there starring and it stayed. No eyes, no mouth … just the entire side view of a sheep the size of my pillow.

Creepy.

After Chase was good and asleep, I came to say goodnight to Conner and Mike.

“Just so you know... if Chase wakes up it’ll be fine. He’s being protected by a fluffy lamb” I mumbled across our dark bedroom to Michael.

“You took the Ambien, didn’t you?” he replied.

And For The Record: I slept GREAT! This is the FIRST sleep-aid that I've taken that didn't make me feel like a groggy monster the next morning. I had vivid dreams, but nothing too odd (I dream alot, usual vivid and I almost always remember them anyways). Good stuff.

(Oh yes, I promised you guys news from the Cardiologist! Appointment was what wore me out yesterday, the news is good and I’ll type it up tonight! But it is interesting… so check back soon!)

The Mom Gods Smiled

Oh how the Mom Gods have smiled upon me. Is as if my whole world has been sprinkled with pixie dust and powdered sugar. Sigh…

As of Christmas Adam, Conner has OFFICIALLY become a Big Boy. Oh yes, that’s right ladies and gents… *drum roll please* Conner is no longer sleeping in his “bappie”! Taadaa!

I tell you, the big trick to this whole thing was “needing some room to air it out” as my first college roommate would’ve said. We’d tried going sans diaper but I would put him in underwear (excuse me… “unnawares”) only for him to wake from nap or in the middle of the night “soaktinged” wet.

I just assumed his wee little bladder wasn’t up for the challenge and dutifully placed a diaper on him every night and before naps. Oh, but the Mom Gods had a new plan for me. They conspired a brilliant strategy to change my ways.

The night before Christmas Eve (Christmas Adam, again), I… *another drum roll* fell asleep while nursing Chase down for the night. Since I never came to say goodnight to Mike and Conner (as I normally spend another 30-45 with them before I’m kicked out asked politely to leave, the routine was broken.

Bad mommy, I know.

But that meant no diaper was ever placed on the poor child. Additionally, he had decided to “free ball” it all day and with all those magic ingredients swirled together POOF! We have no more need for nighttime diapers! Apparently, Big Boy undies felt too much like diapers so he would just wizz in them without a care. Who would’ve thunk it to leave the man parts without ..umm….restriction?
HoooRAY!!

It’s going on 6 nights now. He gets a firm reminder just before I leave.
“Conner, remember… you don’t have a diaper on so if you need to go pee what do you do??”
To which he replies “I go to da potty!”
Good boy.

And whilst we are on the subject of obedient childrens, Chase DIDN’T WAKE MOMMY FOR A 4 A.M. BOTTLE for THREE WHOLE NIGHTS IN A ROW! Oh yes, that’s right… the kid actually ate breakfast AFTER the sun rose! I mean, come on! What DID I DO to DESERVE such AWESOMESAUCE!

Sigh.

I’m pretty sure I’ve now earned some sort of Telling the Internets of Your Good Fortunes Bad Karma Jujus. But OH WELL!!

***Update 12/29*** I actually wrote this post a few days back, but changed the number of days when I posted it last night. So, the Mom Gods had plenty of time to change their minds and be mean to me. So, of course, Conner had a freaking accident last night. Oh wells. We aren't going back to the diaper and are staying "restriction free" for bed. We think he might have just had too much juice before bedtime.****

The Ways of the Wicked

splash

splash, splash


SSSPLLAAAAAAASSSSHH

Me, in my ultra-firm you-probably-are-earning-yourself-a-5-minute-time-out-MISTER voice: "Conner! You got him [Chase] all wet!"

Chase crawls away from the bathtub and towards me as I'm sifting through the bathroom cabinets in search of ONE FREAKING hair band.

Conner responds in his woot-woot-aren't-you-wickedly-proud-of-my-awesomeness-because-look-at-HOW-WET-I-got-my-brother voice: "I Did! He's SOCTING WET! I GOT BATHED ALL OVA HIM!"

A pause. And he returns in with his singsongy joy ringing off the bathroom walls: "Chasey... comed back! Help me! *giggle* Help.. I needed you to comed BACK. Oooooh CHA-AASE-EY!"

Oh Kid. Chase may be young, but he's certainly no fool.

Only the half of it

This is my living room after picking up ALL DAY.. Not too bad...




And this is 1/2 of the playroom after being partially straightened...




This being the other half



Now, the only major problem is that this is HALF THE GIFTS! We are still venturing to see Mike's parents on Saturday and they have a "spending problem"... sigh. What AM I GOING TO DO? The playroom is now officially and completely packed out. Nothing else, and I am NOT exaggerating, can fit. These pics don't even show the 15 toys in our master bedroom (now those pics are just outright embarrassing).

So what's a mom to do? Give away toys my children are attached to? Sell my dining room table and have a 5th 2nd playroom? Sell my children? Seriously, I'm really stressed about this. Did I mention that all THREE of the closets in the Conner's, Chase's and the playrooms are all FULL ALSO?! And that we cleaned out FOUR boxes of toys last month??!! IDEAS!!??!!

I did, however, obtain a SWEET new laptop from the Rents. Thanks Mom and Dad! Built in camera too... how scandalous. HAHAHA. Like there is anything sexy-sexy going on at my house... We'd have to do it on top of a pile of Rocketships, Choo-Choo trains, Blocks and a few select puzzle pieces.

Operation: Save Christmas

This time last year, Mike and I were beyond most people's definition of exhaustion. Despite that, it was Christmas Eve and we were away from home without one single gift for Conner from "Santa" or ourselves. So, without my knowledge, Michael sprung into Super Secret Operation: Save Christmas.

We'd spoken briefly about how "it didn't really matter that the gifts were in Montgomery and we were in Birmingham and that we were extremely grateful just to be with family on Christmas and how presents don't define the Holiday and so on and so on". But, we did want some sense of normalcy. Some sign that things weren't complete chaos (although it was). And then there was Conner to whom we'd been selling this idea of magically appearing gifts for over a month now. Not that he'd known one day from the next but we had promised.

So, with no sleep, armed with his college friend Stuart, a couple of Cokes and some gnarly music (I'm sure), Mike trecked to Montgomery having spoon fed me the excuse of "I'm going to the NICU to see Chase since it is Christmas Eve". He had taken a night shift before, so I swallowed the fact that Mike would go yet another night without sleep and headed for bed myself around 11:30.

Mike arrived in Montgomery shortly after 1 a.m. and spent over an hour sorting through gifts, loading them into the car in the freezing cold. He still doesn't know how the neighbors didn't see him and call the cops... He even flushed the potties and grabbed a few essentials we had missed in our mad dash to Birmingham a few days prior. What a good little hubby he is.

"Santa" then hustled back to Birmingham (on his magical sled with reindeer, naturally), more exhausted than ever, to set up the next days Christmas Delight. By the time day broke, he was crawling into bed. His Christmas Merriment Experiment tucked under his belt.

We woke a few hours later, and Conner and I stumbled down the stairs of my mother's house to find a room full of gifts.

It took me a few minutes to realize that the gifts were in the wrapping paper I had used. The same sizes, the same shapes, the same amount of gifts that I assumed were still under our tree in Montgomery.

In a haze I asked "Did you go out and buy the same gifts? And wrap them?"
I'm a moron.
He chuckled and replied "No. Guess again."

Then it hit me, the magic of Christmas had not passed us over and there sat every single gift Michael, I and Mr. Clause had intended on giving Conner and our families.

It was truly amazing.

I will always treasure what Michael did that night. Thank you baby. You are the best Santa ever.

This is HILARIOUS

Over at A Little Pregnant, Julie has mastered a remix of her "Most Annoying Noise" that just so happens to be a screech from one of her adorable children. It's absolutely. Hilarious. And. Must. Be. Listened. To. Now.

Seriously.

The first sound is just the screech, the second is a remix of some very popular annoying sounds. Not to spoil it, but you might hear a little of Ming Ming's "this is SEWIOUS" or Snoring Husbands or W (not that I oppose his presidency, but come on... you've got to admit his voice is worth laughing at!).

Enjoy dear friends.

Duck, Duck, Breast

It was decided that Chase's favorite thing would be the theme for his 1st birthday bash. This was the result on a cake:











Ok. So there's 2 things incorrect with the previous statement. First being that Pirate Ducks aren't exactly his favorite. But, I needed a large Quacker and the Pirate variety was all they had. Secondly, ducks are his second favorite thing BUT had I requested a 1st birthday cake decorated in his first love, it'd looked more like this:






And that my friends would've been COMPLETELY inappropriate. And Publix might have even refused me the free Smash Cake:






Ha. Just kidding. Take off the boobies and his real smash cake is there.

I sure crack me up.


All-in-all, the party was a hit. Chase sported his rocker look, which he was born for. Just kinda his thing. Rock on little man, ROCK ON!










I was laughing to make him laugh, and although it worked, I forgot that in order to take a good picture, I should probably remember to aim correctly at my subject. But with a little cropping, I think this could turn out super cute.



Being a Birthday Boy is HARD WORK PEOPLE!