Have I Told You Lately That I Heart You?

Do you know what amazes the bananas out of me?

YOU!

No, seriously.

Here I am, in my little dusty corner of the Internets, flopping some text onto an instant publisher for the world to read all about my blah blah blah, and yet... people actually read it (like... 2,500 of you a month!).

What?

Thing is, I've got to warn you guys - whereas you are getting The Real McCoyAmanda, you must know this: I'm an absolute train wreck in real life.

I don't mean that in a "I'm absolute ape crap bonkers" way, what I mean is that for as long as I can remember I've been unable to articulate what I'm really trying to say in a conversation unless I've already planned it all out in my head (typically only applies to people I've known for less than 5 years...). BUT, sometime around middle school (maybe early HS), I realized that I can come to a complete thought, case, point and procedure in written word.

For me to blog is completely natural. Yet, then again, it's also just this splattered mess all over the WWW.

...and still you come...

So, I've got a game!

Come on... play!

See, my Google Analytics tells me lots of fun stuff, we've talked about this before. Over the past few weeks, many of you have started "outing" yourselves, which I can not express how much i LURVE. Love love love. Thank you, de-lurkers, I heart each and every one of your faces. For reals.

I have viewers ALL OVA the place. If you are one of these people, HOLLA AT CHA GIRL (read: say "hi" "it's Monchichi from Nebraska")... (It can even be anonymous... you can even be one of those people who has only been to my blog ONCE, and HATE MY FACE, but seriously, just TELL ME.... )

1. Rhode Island - I'm just fascinated with Rhode Island... it's all situated nice and pretty in the North East, access to the Big Time Cities in a short drive, yet it's TINY. As in,  1045 square miles... that just blows my mind! That's... 8 TIMES smaller than Atlanta! From RI? 

2. Richmond, VA - I've never been to Virginia, but the pictures are gorgeous... I had an english teacher in college who now teaches in VA, and she would speak of how beautiful and (obviously) history rich the state was (or is...?) .... Plus, Mike's work is opening a new office there, and if the market were to FREAKING GET OVER ITSELF ALREADY, I'd totally move there.

3.  Michigan - COOOLLD, dude. I don't know how you handle it. But, I get about 30-40 hits a month from this state and from several cities. FESS UP!

4.  Beverly Hills, CA - WHAT? I know. I know. The kids are adorable. If you are wanting head shots, hit me up already... ge'ez. Oh, and West Hollywood, CA - go ahead and admit you are reading too... i...see....you.... (and have either of you ever run into Lauren Conrad? I live vicariously through her... SAD)

5. Canada, in general - Hate me for lumping you all together later, but for now... really? I'm just a tiny little girl with two kids in Alabama....

(On my list of "really? me?": Australia, Vietnam, The Philippines, Italy, Spain, Poland?)

And don't stop reading! I know that motherhood, and The Crazy and The Funny, and blogging in general are all common threads. We all share something in common, and you are here for a reason. I hope not to disappoint...

... and now for the rambling to stop....

Quick! 5-minute Speed Date!

In efforts to help ME (consider it an early Christmas gift, k?), I would like to know more about YOU!

Crazy, eh?

I'm doing a bit of research about those who visit my site and well, most of the work has been done by these kind people. And those kind people, in the course of one month, have given me a whole bunch of numbers. I usually hate numbers, but these are particularly interesting.

For instance:
I have 101 Absolute Unique Visitors (so far)
2:29 is the average amount of time you spend on my site (good for you).
56% of you use Internet Explorer and then nearly 22% of you are cooler use Safari. 3% use Chrome and I don't know what that is.
4% ACTUALLY USE DIAL-UP. Dang.
In these 4 weeks, I've had 432 page views (Yippee)
Viewers have come from 23 states.

I love facts. They make my tummy feel yummy.

But, the FACT is that numbers don't give me anything other than a Data High and a little headache. I'd like to know more about you, ESPECIALLY the LURKERS or people who come by on a whim.
Like when you googled:
"how to guarantee a failed VBAC" - Odd, I don't remember having one of those...
"did anyone wonder how Edward dealt with Bella's period?" & "Forks, WA"
"Christmas Party NICU Birmingham, AL 2008"
"Jenny Says Turn Off The Radio"
... and one of my favorites "It's ok. He can call me flower if he wants to"

So, by-chancers, lurkers, family, friends and Internets... lend me a few minutes. Fill out the following in any form you wish (sentence form, paragraph, bulletin points, a slideshow or powerpoint presentation, fling the message through your computer on a pile of dung - you pick!) and post it in the comments section. If you've got a blog that I don't know about, link it! (I'm a blog reading NERD). If you wish to remain anonymous, that's cool too... just leave any "personal info" blank. This should be exciting!

1. Do we have anything in common? Mommyhood? Two boys? Toddler and/or Screaming Banshee? SAHM? Freak of nature with a psychopathic tendency to leave the lines on the carpet when you vacuum only to swear WAR against the first person to ruin it? NICU baby?

2. Do you have a blog? Can I stalk it read it?

3. Do you leave comments? If no, why not? (It's ok, I'm bad about commenting too...)

4. Favorite post? You don't have to link it, just dig through your brains and give me a few highlights. Favorite post of YOURS (link it puh-lease)?

5. Anything you wish I'd write about more often? Anything I should shut my hole about?

6. Apple or grape jelly? Strawberry?

7. Do you use your kid's names on your blog/myspace/facebook/front door? Their real name? Should I stop using mine?

8. Favorite perfume, cologne, fragrance, smell? I heart pumpkin spice.

9. Wheresa aboutsa are yousa fromsa?

10. What's your blood type? You know, in case I you ever need a donor organ... (I'm B Negative I think...)

11. Any tips, suggestions, complaints, general love and internet hugs?

12. How'd you find my blog? If I know you in The Real World tell me how you get to it - facebook link, myspace link, direct (as in typing my URL), friend's blogroll, etc ?

Thanks gals (and maybe a guy or two). NOW GET TO WORK!

About Me

In a time far far away, I was someone most of my friends would barely recognize today.

But, two spaztastic babies later, I am defined by a few terms no one saw coming....

I am a strong believer in breastfeeding, extended breastfeeding and ecological nursing.

I tried cloth diapers, but it wasn't for me.

I recycle, and am pretty Nazi-esque about it.

I pick up a LOT of things with my toes.

I am a Republican (ehhh.... mostly... a little more towards the middle... WHY DO WE NOT HAVE A 3rd OPTION) and generally pro-life.

However, I don't have a clue why our government can tell us who we can and can not love, and therefore, want them to get out of marriage completely. That is to say, that I feel gay marriage should be left to those individuals that fall in love and feel that it is right for them. Our government, and certainly not myself, are not the Final Judgement. How one chooses to spend his or her life is THEIR decision.

I also want the government to let me spend my money the way I believe it should be spent.

I do not drink caffeine nor do I keep it in my house (except with the very, very rare occasion during which you can find me up at 5 AM without sleep because I starred at the ceiling all night...)

I try to offer my children as many unprocessed foods as possible (and that? rarely means we go a day without it... sigh...)

Reality television is my crack.

We believe and practice co-sleeping.

We also practice Natural Family Planning. (Strike that. where is my Mirena?) (revised: HERE's my Mirena Story)

(I still agree with NFP - I'm "using" the Mirena for weight gain and possible boobies ... we will see!)

AND - We practice Attachment Parenting.

My husband was raised baptist. I was raised Methodist, but found Catholicism in late High School and early College. In reality, I identify mostly with Catholicism, but do not currently practice Catholic doctrine (nor have I ever been confirmed...), mostly due to the fact that my husband is STILL baptist and we attend a traditional Methodist church.

I believe the Lord has His plan for my family, and I strive to be the wife, mother and daughter of Christ that I believe I should be. This is, by far, my biggest struggle.

With that said, I do cuss. I keep my blog PG-13, and try (very hard) not to say words in the "R" rating around my children. I am human, however.

I am extremely sarcastic.

I am also blunt, which sometimes comes across as bitchy. Really though, I don't get the point of skirting around an issue.

Orange-Pineapple Juice, please.

Ironing is a special form of crazy.

I own my feminism. It's a boob, I can say titties... I have a vagina, but it's on the INSIDE PEOPLE (outside = vulva OR labia... you pick).

On THAT note: FEEL YOUR BOOBIES, LADIES. Breast cancer can be caught early.

I like tv, a lot of tv, I hate cleaning - mostly laundry makes me want to hurl, and am very much a homebody.

The rest of me? Well, you can probably find it on my blog. I'm an open book!

MORE YOU SAY??!?! How sweet of you!

This is an excerpt from a previous post on March 26th, 2009 that says a bit about me:

Oh... uh... HI THERE!

Let me shove all this junk under a table, in a closet or into a shower with the curtain closed and I'll be riiiight with you.

Ah. There.

I'd hate to be a giant poser and make you think I'm some kind of neat freak that doesn't let her children or her family actually live in their house because I'm too obsessed with what people may think about me if I don't appear to live in a magazine....

Wait. Tangent!

My name is Amanda and my last name is hardly pronounceable. I'm 24, with a BIRTHDAY THIS Sunday (29th), making me a quarter of a century young now 25. Sweet.

I'm also the mother of 2 half-breed monkey/gorilla hybrids wonderfully rowdy boys (ages 3.75 and 15 months). I blog LIVE! from the a city somewhere in Alabama..

I am also a graduate of The University of Alabama with a degree in Public Relations/Advertising. I minored in Getting Knocked up by my Junior year and also graduated with my MRS. That makes me special... right?

Nowadays, I enjoy all the perks of The Mom Job and choose to blog about it for several reasons - it's therapeutic, I don't have the scrapbooking gene and writing is pretty much the only gift God gave me....

Yes, I use my childrens' real names. Most of you know them anyways.

I have the personality of a 6'6" man trapped in a 4'10.5" body. I'm loud, sometimes bitchy, occasionally moody, disorganized yet incredibly passionate and a total goofball. My friends just think I'm odd and that's fine by me.

What you can expect from my blog: 2-4 posts a week about the Special Form of Crazy I possess, my insane children (...and their poo...), a bad word or two (nothing too 'R' rated, I keep it PG-13 around these parts), the occasional tip or trick, a recipe or two, and The Funny.

What you can find somewhere other than my blog or nowhere at all: Porn. Financial advice (although the Hubster is a Stock Broker, we are required by this tiny group of federal agencies to keep hush hush on The Internets about that... you know... crazy SEC....), my SSN, my address, stories about my poo, boring blah blah blah about the more boring parts of the Mom Job (I try and leave that out for you guys...)

Thanks for visiting and please come back soon! Feel free to check out the archives from the last several months and also the "Platinum Edition" found in the right hand toolbar OR these links:

Notes from the Stirrups

Oh Amanda, Hush

Not Easy Being Green

One eyed, One horned, Flying Purple NOT MY COUCH

And those are just a few. I get bored quickly with looking up links. Some call it lazy...

OOooohhhh... and leave a comment!!! I'll stalk you back!! PROMISE!