The Miracle Baby

Chase had his next-to-last neurology appointment.

Oh yeah, I said it.

NEXT. TO. LAST!!!

Three months ago, Chase had his regularly scheduled brain check with his Neurologist From The Gods and seeing as his head circumference was growing faster than the rest of his body (i.e.- 50% on height/weight and then 55%.... and then 75% ... and then 95% on his head....), we had a CT scan.

I didn't blog that, intentionally as we were finally thinking "this is it...."...

Fortunately, it came back with normal ventricles and we were soooo relieved.

But, that meant we had to come back in 3 months rather than 6 and to be totally honest, we were a bit scared. For once, Chase had begun to show signs of The Bad Things we were warned about over and over again.

All went well today, however, and Chase's story is all but unfinished - but a new chapter has begun.

----

We received the "dodged a bullet" speech.... AGAIN.

Let me place specific emphasis on the severity of this - Children with grade IV bleeds do not survive - as a matter of fact, the definition of a grade IV bleed is a "fatal bleed". When a baby has low grade IV or grade III, they can survive BUT 99.9999% of these babies have complications, surgeries and development delays. The nurses, who see hundreds and hundreds of children on a more regular basis than Chase always remember his story - 

         

        he's that baby, 

                  the one that shouldn't be here, 

      the one that fought the hardest fight and won, NOTHING short of an absolute miracle.

Did I mention ONE MORE APPOINTMENT and then we are, and I shall quote Brain Doctor,  "out of the woods"??

A FATAL BLEED??!! And NO problems? Sixteen months ago, I thought I was loosing my newborn son and left a hospital with nothing more than a piece of cloth and a broken spirit.

From this:

(sorry, I don't post intubation pictures for they crush me to pieces.)

To this:

God is wonderful and we are all so thankful for His grace. 

From mine to yours... Have a happy Easter.

(if you are new to my blog, and wish to read Chase's Story from the beginning, I'd start in the Decemeber 2007 archives and work your way through.)

Scarred for Life: Take 4,585

What kind of mother would post a picture like this of her darling son attempting to keep the sun out of his eyes after his sunglasses fell on the floor?

I guess it'd be the same mother that even OWNED said hat... In her defense, it was a gift received senior year of high school and she's never worn it. Said hat has only served as a "snow hat" and was thrown into said mother's vehicle during that freak snow incident a few weeks back.

I'm just sayin'...

The Bite Heard Round the Block

This is Charlie:

Charlie became our first baby shortly after we learned I was pregnant. It was one of those logic things in which you figure that if your animal lives you can maybe survive parenthood - seemed sound at the time however, I suggest that no one make life altering decisions whilest preggers. Pregnant women have no judgement :)

(and neither do Michaels... it's just a rule)

Michael grew up with a peek-a-poo or two (ha! rhyme!). I, on the other hand, had yorkies. Ok, one yorkie - Rusty. For reference sake, here are photos via google of said breeds:

Note: Small.

We scoured the Internets for a peekapoo and couldn't find a darn thing under 600 bucks. We were NOT paying over half a grand on a dog. Period. We had baby stuff to acquire for Pete's sake.

Then, like a shining star - out of nowhere- lands us a link and a phone number to a place in Calera, Alabama with 4 peek-a-poo puppies - JOY! $300 bucks! YES!

We get to a shack in The Middle of Nowhere, it's freezing and dark. This place was no bigger than a tool shack. Inside, was dreary looking and there sat two or three cages stacked high in this 8x10 space. My heart was broken for any animal that lived here.

Two woman, who probably were not related but called each other "Sister", appeared from an attached back room with a box of puppies. They put them in one of the metal cages and told us about one in particular whose tail had to be cut off because it "got stuck in something".

Remember, I was pregnant. I BROKE DOWN. A poor, tiny little puppy... white... and soooo in need of a good home who had obviously experienced some sort of trauma. I didn't care that he wasn't the cutest in the litter, or that... he really didn't even look much like the rest of the litter - he was coming home with me. We fork over the money, don't question the "surgery" or that his siblings look more "peek-a-poo-esque" and leave.

On our drive home I chose the name Charlie after some Real World guy that I thought was hot - but mostly because I liked the name.

Fast forward/Condensed Version - Vet visit. Charlie isn't a peek-a-poo, he's a jack russell mix. He has food guarding issues and sparring of his spine from the "surgery". The vet hypothesizes that nothing was wrong with his tail and the breeders chopped it off so he'd fit in with small breed puppies. Oh, and to top it all off, they calculated his age. Charlie was, AT BEST, 4 weeks old when we bought him (weaned from his mother and sold illegally an entire month early = issues).

Few more months go by: We are in love with our furry baby, but he's having severe trust issues and is violent. "Untrainable" one vet tells us, "You'll risk the dog hurting the baby if you keep him" adds the behavioral specialist. An hour later, I, 8 months pregnant, leave the vet WITH my dog and refuse to give him up.

Charlie is, for the most part, a wonderful dog now. Time has calmed him and he and Michael share some weird connection thing that is borederline disturbing/adorable. He's playful sometimes, and nice when he wants to be. We even got him a dog, Squish:

(Note: Squish is an absolute moron. Dumb as a rock. Very playful and kind hearted. 100% pug - who knew the mut would be 1,000 times smarter than the purebred??)

We thought we were out of the danger zone: Charlie will growl, but not bite. He is violent towards strangers, but being protective isn't necessarily a bad thing. Guard dog, he is.

Then, last night happened. Conner, being the Professional Dog Annoyer of the household sneaks up on Charlie, who was on the bed. Conner gently hits him on his thigh and in an instant Charlie had shattered the Thin Line. He let out a huge growl and chomped his amazingly large teeth right down on Conner's right wrist.

Michael was furious. Conner was so crushed. I was taken aback. Charlie knew what he'd done.

Conner's ok - physically he has a little bruising and Charlie broke skin. His hand swelled just a bit, but it's fine now. Emotionally though, Conner's confused and upset. "His" dog hurt him. It's so, so sad.

We always said we had proven that Vet and her fancy specialist friend wrong. Charlie wouldn't hurt our children. But now? Now he's crossed the line. I've heard it before, that once a dog bites he's made a break-through of sorts. You could tell in Charlie's demeanor this morning that he is fully aware of what happened.

So, what do we do? For now, nothing. But, it's sad to think we might have to eventually find Charlie another (child-free) home. We'd all be so crushed.

So, what would you do?

Taking Out The Trash

 When I married Michael, somewhere in our vows he must have sneaked in a small part about how I would solemnly swear to clear away a dusty corner of my brain and begin to store shelves and shelves of knowledge about the Stock Markets, Financial Terminology and all things related. Did he know I'm allergic to Math?

 But, a vow is a vow and somehow, really I guess it's how much I love him and care about what he cares about, but SOMEHOW I've retained a CRAP TON of said knowledge.

 Like, a lot.

 For instance, I know what a toxic asset is (even before that word was plastered below every other headline about failing financial institutions who back crappy mortgages). By definition (thank you Google), it's a term for assets (or "stuff") that has exposed the holder to large losses.

 In our house, our mortgage has become a toxic asset. Our home isn't worth what it once was, we bought at the peak, our Adjustable Rate Mortgage is flying high with the birds and all that jazz. But, I've told you about this before.... and ... I'm happy to report that we are working with our financier to re-do our mortgage (it might not necessarily be a refinance, so I'm using "re-do" for now... work with me people).

 

 Yes, this toxic asset has prevented us from financial freedoms we would have otherwise had. Moreover, it's held us from moving back home to be with our families. But, God has a plan and for now, we are happy.

But....

Financial woes aren't my point here. (see that, I have NO transitional, so I came right out with it... the journalist in me just died a little... but it's ok... she's been dead for years...)

What about those in our lives that are or become "toxic assets".

Recently, I've had to purge my life of one person that has been absolutely nothing but a toxin. This person causes hell and havoc at every twist and turn, taking down everyone within arms reach with little to no remorse for their actions. Piles of use, abuse and neglect for anyone who cares to attempt to help for this person.... sadly, an all-around parasite.

I know that is harsh, but reality is what it is.

So, what if ... the toxins are in your blood? As in, the person who is toxic to you, the bad in your life, is related to you? It makes it more difficult to get away (blood is thicker than water...). In this case, it bought nothing but time - more time for this person to do more damage.

In other times of my life, depending on the stage, my reaction would have been different. At one point, I would have held on tight - told myself that I deserved no better. That person is gone, and I hope to never, ever, ever run into that "me" again. 

But you grow. You learn. You move on from what hurts. At this point in my life, I know that letting go of what's pulling myself and those around me down will only make us stronger.

What time has done for me is miraculous. What distance has done is just as amazing.

Moving away from my family and friends is so incredibly difficult, but in that I learned a valuable lesson about "Golden Friends".

make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold...

Those friends, the ones that mean the most, are there through everything, no matter the distance and share something so special that nothing can break it. My friends - my circle - are my backbone.

No measure of space, time and distance can separate those that are priceless, but no amount of blood can justify a toxic relationship. So to this person, goodbye. I'm glad to be rid of you.

(and since I can't be serious for too long, I would like a show of hands for how many of you, at any point in this post, started singing, humming or thinking about Britney's Toxic... that includes NOW as well... teehee)

And Since All I Can Do Today Is Complain

Mom Job Things I Despise Doing #7,382:

Re-threading Car Seat Straps.

Babyless Followers: This is the (ungodly) act of taking apart an entire car seat and attempting to re-thread the straps to fit your growing wee-one. Typically, it's not that hard to take the car seat apart, but then you must put the thing back together with all it's 20+ pieces IN ORDER. Also, the instructions are surely in Mandarin and require a Doctorate in Physics to decipher.

Oh, and if you don't do it right, you risk your child being fatally injured during a car accident.

No pressure.

(And right now, I only have to do TWO seats. Oh, and they are not the same brand... so the process is completely different for each seat. Great.)

Dear MTV

Dear MTV,

Please stop playing "T.I.'s Road to Redemption" 10 times a day (as you've done for over a week now). I want my MTV, but I want it to not suck.

Thanks,

The Mom Job

I Apologize In Advance For Boring You - Cleaning Tips & Questions

I can't stay WELL. Ge'ez. Sore throat, glands swollen, feels like someone is choking me. What. Ever. Save the "sorry, hope you feel better's"... it's not good to entertain the antics of a hypochondriac.

It is hard, however, to be funny when your insides are trying to convince you to press the Internal I Quit Button.

So, what I can do is contribute to The Mom Job AND The I Have A House TOO! But No Kids Job with the following:

1. We have hard water. That is an understatement. Our water leaves clouds all over my glass shower within ONE DAY of cleaning. And my go-to cleaner, Scrubbing Bubbles, won't get the job done. So, with a little help from Mrs. Google, I tried the following:

Make a paste using powder laundry detergent and water. Apply paste in circular motion to glass surfaces in shower. (I like not having to break a sweat, and I didn't if that tells you how effortless this is). Let sit for a minute, then rinse with hot water. I towel dried afterwards so the water I used to clean doesn't re-dirty my shower.

Endless battle, but clean shower. And it smelled like fresh laundry!

2. I keep a bottle of 1/3 vinegar, 2/3 water for a few things: windows, glass surfaces and granite counter tops to name a few. But this power cleaner can do so much, including getting a streak-free clean on black appliances like ovens, dishwasher fronts, the fridge ("fri-ja-frator" in Conner Land), and microwaves. Works like a charm.

3. Kids or no kids, the absolute best rags to use are cloth baby diapers. I thought I could do the whole cloth diaper bit, but it just didn't work for me (and I applaud all of you moms that CAN do it, because the laundry about nearly killed me trying).

So, I started using them around the house 3.75 years ago and still have the same ones. They are ULTRA absorbent, for obvious reasons, and can clean up spills better than 15 paper towels.

I use a damp one to wipe down dusty surfaces (sorry Pledge, you make dust come back faster for some reason, anyone else experience this?). 

Sooo many uses, I recommend picking up a bag of them.

4. Hardwood floors get a bathtub full of hot water, a SMIDGEN of dish soap and a splash of Pine Sol (orange flavored, please). It's VERY diluted (thus, bathtub full). I use a mop (duh) but wring it out very thoroughly. Clean, shiny, yummy smelling and disinfected. 

5. Kitchen floors get the sink filled with hot water (HOT HOT), 1/4 cup bleach and a squirt of dish soap. Mop once, then rinse mop, empty sink, refill with hot water and run over the floor again. 

Now for my questions:

1. How in the WORLD do you clean your mirrors? Our bathroom is like, 98% mirrors and I DESPISE them. Once I hike my arse up on the counter top and do the Death Match Parade of Mirror Cleaning Shame, I still can't get them clean enough.

Done? NO! Missed about 15 spots! 

It's not the cleaner, I tried Windex (and don't use it anymore, except on the outside of our glass doors). I found that the aforementioned vinegar and water mixture works best. I SWEAR it's either the technique or the rags/paper towels (both seem to give me equal, yet unacceptable results). WHAT DO YOU DO? (and don't say don't clean them, I've tried that...)

2. No seriously, how do you clean mirrors 5 ft. high  and 10 ft. wide with no streaks??? I need to clean the one on my bedroom ceiling too. I KID! That's just nasty.

3. Do you have a "cleaning schedule"? Are you OCD about it? Mention it in front of other moms just to make them cringe? OR do you really follow it? If you are of the last variety, let me know what you do. I've tried a schedule, but can't get it down. I have my lazy days and my super-ultra-someone-give-me-a-Valium-STAT days in which The Schedule was thrown in the trash.

4. I hate laundry. Should I seek therapy or just throw away all our clothes? For serious though - I'm tired of liking a new clothing item only for it to look 7 years old after 2 washes. I use Tide Ultra HE for Front Loaders (can't use anything else really, makes me sneeze). Does great getting things clean, but fades my darks. I use really cold water. Promise. Do you add anything to your darks? 

This post is way too long and you stopped reading 3 minutes ago. Sorry about that. Why did I publish this?

Ooohh... you guys get to see Conner's Preschool Class Picture sometime in the next few days, once I blur out all the other Angels' Faces. It's a real treat (you've GOT to see Conner... I can't even believe I'm purchasing this picture. IT'S THAT BAD)