Day One And I'm Thankful

So, Day One isn't exactly how I had this whole Vacay For Sanity planned out, but the lesson in that is clear: NOTHING in life (especially with The Mom Job) is on your schedule.

Chase has run a mild fever for over a week now as all 4 of his 1-year molars are coming through. He's been generally cranky.

Then, Monday night post-bath - Chase is in pain and it's more than obvious. He is more than hot to the touch. Luckily, I am with the in-laws which happens to contain a doctor. Dr-in-law, as I refer to him, quickly calls in an antibiotic, Michael and him go to the 24-hour CVS and get a thermometer, MORE ibuprofen (we should buy stock) and the Rx.

And... we wait. The next day, I am expecting a child with less fever (say.. oh... I don't know.. my expectations were for it to be less than.. say... 103.6!). Instead, I have a child who will NOT let go of me, is curled over in pain, won't eat, won't drink, and is fighting his meds. The day's plans (which were going to be AWESOMMMMMEEE) were quickly trashed and there I am, holding Chase wondering if I really could scramble an egg on his chest...

Next dose of antibiotics comes and goes... we get back to Montgomery without Conner and the evening is a breeze aside from putting my house back together.

I put Chase in bed, blog and turn out the lights.

I can't sleep and it's then that I realize it's not because Michael is snoring... that noise keeping me from La-La Land is none other than Chase, moaning in pain.

Fever - 104

.......

Fever - 103

.......

Fever - 104

.......

It's 7 AM and he's BURNING through Tylenol and Ibuprofen. While in a luke warm (mostly cold) bath, his auxiliary temp reads 102.9. In the NICU, I learned that auxiliary (under the arm or forehead) temps need a degree added to them. So, we are talking about a child who is not breaking a 104 fever WHILE medicated AND SITTING in the cool bath.

Dehydrated, delirious and completely limp, we haul him the the pediatrician.

Chest x-rays, blood work, throat swab - white cell count is double what it should be. He's dehydrated, but we decide that if he'll nurse (that's right - BREASTFEEDING an almost 18-month-old. SHOCK AND AWE), that would save us a hospital trip. He nurses, his temp falls to 102, and we wait.

(So SEE, my not having him totally weaned SAVED HIM A HOSPITAL TRIP. Eat THAT. (note: he was down to ONE TINY feeding until Monday... darn it.) )

Strep - positive, BUT he's been on antibiotics for 36-hours. He shouldn't be testing positive for Strep unless this is a very aggressive strand. He gets an antibiotic shot (BIG SHOT, sheesh) and a chocolate milkshake (not from the Peds office, silly... though... there's  a  marketing avenue you should ponder, McDonald's....).

Currently, Chase is sleeping/resting/moaning in his crib for nap.

-----------

I am thankful that GOD PLANNED this vacation for Conner. He's away from "the sick", didn't have to be dragged through the doctor's office and almost the hospital. He's having fun with his Nanna at Toys-R-Us (save me) and I miss him.

Had he of been here, I'd be ready to yank out my ovaries through my throat and pour vodka in my eyeballs. I would be fighting him to be quiet because his sick brother would be trying to rest. I would be BEGGING for a nap for myself, and feeling guilty for trapping Conner in the house when his blood yearns for RUNNING.

So, half a day down... and I feel confident that this plan was best - even though it clearly wasn't mine.

A Parenting Vacation - Learning to Miss a 4-Year-Old

Conner is on vacation.

I am on a vacation from Conner.

Chase is taking a vacation with me away from Conner.

Conner is currently spending 4 whole days with his Nana, during which time I will be the keeper of one (note: I did not say mother of one - BOOWOOHOO! WHERE IS MY BAAAABBBBYYY). 

It's odd, really. This is the first time I've ever dropped Conner off some place that A) doesn't charge me by the hour or B) will not keep him for longer than a typical business day. In short: I'm kinda at a loss.

Tonight, it's JUST Chase, Michael and I. When he went to the living room to watch his nightly dose of Blue's Clues, Michael and I turned the channel to something other than a (child appropriate) cartoon (note: I didn't just say cartoon - Michael loves Family Guy, Futurama and American Dad ... and I guess I should also note that he loves the Penguins of Madagascar... which IS a children's cartoon, but he likes it more than they do... digression set to occur... now).

And... and...Well? Nothing. It's just quiet.

Chase is sick (A-FREAKING-GAIN? YES! How? I have no clue, really) and so he drank his juice. No one pushed his chair over, stole his cup or blocked his view. At bed time, Chase got hugs from mommy and daddy, gave his typical goodnight kisses to both of us and went to bed.

Michael and I are sitting here, watching FoxNews (and Family Guy...) and it's 10:44 PM. No Conner. No "belly bumps" (full-on tackles), someone kicking me in the side, or telling me about his light sabers, dinosaurs or dreams of slaying dinosaurs with light sabers. There's no one to yank off my glasses only to do a "hard 3" on the cold bathroom floor. I didn't watch him brush his teeth and then "check" his teeth (Me: Ok... soo... *with brush in hand and in his mouth*, I see the top right is good *brush*, the top left is good *brush*, the bottom right is good *brush* and the bottom left is good *brush*... GREAT JOB!). The house feels so strange.

It is so strange, and I miss him.

I planned out this "vacation" for Conner to get some quality time away from his brother. To miss me and to go more than 3 minutes without doing something that earns himself a spanking, some time out and me wishing he were someone else's child.

For Chase, this vacation is to taste what it's like to have a mom, a dad, two dogs and no one that wants to body slam his face into the kitchen grout. 

For Michael, this is a glimmer of what it's like to gain his bed back (aside from the dogs.... and myself...). He can get up all 15 trillion times to do... whatever that is he does... in the bathroom at night (I think he's peeing, but he could be Toilet Sleeping) and not worry about waking Conner.

I am gaining back my sanity and my voice. I am going to recollect my Mothering Senses and pull together a Plan of Action directed right at my favorite little trouble maker. In all, I am going to remind myself what it means to actually miss my eldest child, try to store this feeling in my brain for all those times I am ready to Craigslist him, and remember all the wonderful things about his presence that makes this house our home. This is good for all of us and I am both so happy and sad about it.

Already, I miss him. That's a good sign. 

7 Quick Takes: It's Actually Sunday.... Edition

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Yeah... so... it's not very nice of me to post a Quick Takes on Sunday, when it's technically supposed to be a Friday thing, BUT... I had GOOD REASON. On Thursday, some amazing friends of ours visited our house for an entire 48 hours with their 3 small (and adorable!) children. So, I've been busy having tons of fun (and recovering), and am just getting around to blogging. Sorry!

-2-

Did I mention we had an amazing time? Yes, yes we did. Here's movie night minus Baby Lennon: 

-3-

Now, we are in Operation: Have  a Holiday weekend, which is going nicely... REST!

-4-

Do you know that I haven't blogged in like 4 or 5 days and that every day that I didn't blog, I thought about blogging or the lack of blogging? Do you know how much it bothered me that I didn't have new content on here? Is it sad that I felt BAD for people that came here and were all "dang, Amanda... where are you and what are you doing that is more important than feeding my blogging addiction/habit?" OR that you were thinking "ge'ez... she plugs away at this blogging thing 24/7, is she dead because otherwise, this is waaaay over rated..."

-5-

My sister-in-law's boyfriend and I are sitting here, in the family room, right this second debating.... Apple vs. PC. I am a long time Mac supporter - it runs better, it isn't exposed to viruses and malware like PCs (due to it's layered system), the graphics kick PCs rear-ends... etc etc.. and his argument? That PC people must know how to use a computer, that it requires more THINKING to USE the computer... 

I say that a computer is a tool, and that no tool should need fixing - that negates the purpose of the tool if it needs to be fixed. A computer should be easy to use and run without having to "defrag this" and "update software that" or "DEAR SWEET JESUS WHY DO I NEED TO UPDATE MY VIRUS PROTECTION AGAIN?"

I currently use an HP (PC, obviously), but own an older Mac latop and sometimes? I get so fed up with all the "allow this?" and "DAMNIT WHY ISN"T THIS WORKING thats" that I fire up that 5-year-old thing and computer away.... It's just SO FRUSTRATING (thanks mom for the free computer!!!).

I digress.

-6-

I signed up for Wyzant.com which places qualified tutors' "profiles" on a site and allows those who need tutoring services to find the best match. I joined the site because A) I'd like extra cash and B) I've seen other similar tutoring sites before, but this is the first that actually tested me on the subject(s) I expressed interest in tutoring in. (Well done, Wyzant). I received my first tutor request this weekend, and surprisingly... I'm nervous. I need the money though... so...

-7-

I have about... err... (checking....) 3 drafts that need publishing... So this is me finishing my waaaay late quick takes and promising better content this week. 

Have a wonderful (and safe) Memorial Day!

For more Quick Takes, head on over to Conversion Diary.

This Crack is Brought To You By Nickelodeon...

As if my kids weren't fixated enough on the Crack/LSD otherwise known as Yo! Gabba Gabba, 

Nickelodeon would like to proudly introduce The Jump Arounds. 

This mind-numbing, coma inducing song-and-dance group a-la High School Musical, but kinda younger and 14 times creepier, is taking over our children (well, my children) faster than Swine Flu on a pig farm in a rural Mexican town.

Ugh.

I don't GET IT. It's JUST choreographed singing and dancing with kinda gay "well dressed" (i.e. - matching) guys and girls who sound 30, look 20 and dress like they are 12. What happened to kids loving cartoons and puppets? Isn't Hannah Montana enough? 

Why can't they just stick to whatever brand of LSD they use to make my kids stop! dead! still! to watch Yo! Crappa Crappa Yo! Gabba Gabba. THAT, although I hate it, can deal with - they are puppets with poorly animated (ON PURPOSE, I don't get it... really) segways. 

WHATEVER.

So, thanks Nick. Can't we go back to the ice cream man being the drug dealer? I'm thinking that was just as effective in KILLING MY KIDS BRAINS, and ... a heckavalot better on my nerves.

Who Wants Amanda To Stop Blogging About Babies That Have Yet to Be Conceived?

After this post, Mrs. Moose (who has been very spot-on with all her comments baby-related lately) had this to say: 

I don't think it's selfish to want another. You're not taking anything away from anyone by having a baby - but at the same time it's not selfish to not have more kids either. I think it needs to be a personal choice and each person if different. I have a friend who says it's selfish to limit the size of your family, but I disagree. She has 5 kids, and I think I would have to be committed if I had 5 kids. I'm not wired that way. But she is and it works for her. 
I think you (the general you) need to step back and examine your desire for another baby or not. Do you just want that newborn baby months and then when he/she becomes a toddler, you'd rather give them away?:) It's probably a good idea to skip the next kid. Do you desperately want another little one running around because your family isn't complete? Maybe it's time for another one. 

Several parts of her comment hit home.

First, the woman Mrs. Moose mentions with 5 kids. Heather of the Extraordinary Ordinary (who has  2 boys herself, and several "maybe baby" posts as well) commented on the same post saying that if we agree that 3 is fine with us to try (or stop NOT trying NOT to...). If it happens, it happens, if it doesn't then it doesn't.

 I'd like to say we could do that, but with our track record, we'd be pregnant yesterday. (Please don't hate me if you are one who has or has had a difficult time conceiving. You'll never know how much my heart aches for you. I've even considered gestational surrogacy before, and haven't ruled it out, but for now I need to cement my family... mom stop googling "gestational surrogacy" and leave it at that, k?)

So, not "not trying" won't work, we will end up pregnant. Period.

The second part that hit home with Mrs. Moose's post, the part that REALLY struck a chord was when she talks about WHY we'd want another wee-one. Would it be just to have a baby in the house? I'm making sure to ponder that one long and hard. See, Chase is at a really fun age in Babyhood venturing towards ToddlerLand at full speed. Conner, well, he's amazing, but let us be brutually honest here - he's almost 4 and he's BOY. He's also on my last nerve about 75% (scratch that, 89%) of the day lately. I know SOME of it is his age, some his gender, but the rest? It's just him. He's loud, he is very, very active, he's needy (ok, in a positive term - he is very emotional and must have attention). Needless to say, he is NOT independent and craves any attention - negative OR positive.

Now, all babies grow up, and I'm certain at some point all children make their mother's wish they'd take a 6 hour nap in their rooms while momma hits the booze cabinet. 

BUT, there ARE ALL the AMAZING times I have with both my children, Conner so very included in that. I get to see the world through his eyes. I'm also positive that we have so many things to do and memories to make that only come with our children growing up.

The question Mrs. Moose asks is: "Is your family complete?" - that's what I am pondering now. I look at my two boys and sometimes I think yes. They are starting to play together (although sometimes rough = BOYS!). Conner loves his baby brother and Chase (when not being tackled or kicked) adores Conner. They are quite the pair. Michael and I have the ability to each take one. We aren't outnumbered, and sometimes, parenting is all about the numbers. 

And does there seem to be this clear line with the numbers game? Through all these posts and comments, I've realized that there appears to be a very clear divide: those who only want 1 or 2 AND THAT IS IT and then those who are ok with more than 2. There's really no middle. Only 2 or more than 2. Pick a side. Line in the sand.

Many of you pointed out the obvious - you have time on your side. So... I think this will be my last "maybe baby" post for a bit. I can not thank ALL of you enough for your thoughtful insights, encouragements and personal stories. It really has been a lot to think about and you've done nothing but help our family sort through things. I love you all... or as Funny Amanda would say: I totally heart your faces....

To My Many Male Readers....

Dear Husbands, Boyfriends, and Potential Husbands and Boyfriends,

   For the majority of women over the age of 10 (and many times younger), we ladies have a few days in a row in which we experience the shedding of our uterine lining and usually an unfertilized egg. I'm positive that most of you know about this "time of the month", during which we become monsters full of hormonal rage. 

   

 What I'm hear to tell you is very important, so turn off the television and unplug your ipod - use those things attached to the side of your head (better known as "ears") and actually listen (go ahead and google "listen" if you are unsure as to how this process works) (ok, you are reading this, but what I am saying is ABSORB THIS INFORMATION). 

   

 This time for women sucks - big time sucks. We'd rather not, but it's kinda required. You know how it feels to be punched in the Jewels? Well, what if you had to do that all day for 3-7 days every month? Yup. Thought you'd get that analogy.

 

 For a medical breakdown, I'm going to borrow some information from Dr. Google. A woman isn't just a giant a*hole, she's also experiencing any number, combination or ALL of the following:

• mood swings
• irritability
• depression
• anxiety
• angry outbursts
• confusion or fuzzy thinking
• tearfulness
• fatigue
• insomnia
• changes in libido
• overeating
• cravings, especially for salty or sweet foods
• alcohol intolerance
• acne
• hives
• abdominal and pelvic cramps
• bloating
• weight gain
• headaches
• menstrual migraines
• breast swelling and pain
• edema (visible swelling, particularly in the hands, feet and legs)
• asthma
• sinus problems
• sore throat
• worsening of chronic conditions like arthritis and ulcers
• difficulty with coordination, being more prone to accidents
• dizziness, decreased balance
• heart pounding (palpitation)
• nausea
• fainting
• urinary problems

   That's right. ALL THOSE THINGS. Now, remember the analogy about the Jewels? What if you were being hit there EVERY month for almost a week (and sometimes more) and ALSO had these symptoms?

  I'm sure I'm not the first person to point some of these things out, but what I want to add is this - what most of us absolutely HATE is when you say things like "Oh, is it that time of the month?" or "Someones got their period..." or "Why are you being such a B****H TODAY!?" (when you know we are having our monthly problem).

 

 WHY? WHY? Seriously? Did you READ those symptoms? Did you KNOW we have ALL OF THAT GOING ON AND WE CAN DO LITTLE TO NOTHING TO STOP IT and IT HAPPENS MONTHLY! REMEMBER THAT PART.

  So, dear sweet husbands/bf/and potentials, shut up. Stop asking and understand that we aren't just "being b****y", we are being women. Women who suffer monthly so that one day, we can POSSIBLY NOT have to endure through our "monthly visit" just to take on a whole NEW (and just as long and more complicated) set of crappier symptoms for nearly 10 whole months just to bring your chicken butt a baby.

Much Love,

The Mom Job

7 Quick Takes: Edition #8 **Updated on #2

-1-

With one full day's warning, I managed to purchase a snack to contribute, acquire the teacher's present (and no, it wasn't a gift card to the liquor store...), find both bathing suits, pack their bags and not DIE from a certain monthly visit.

-2-

Here are the results (minus his classmates' adorable little faces) **(Oh, and HAAHAAAAA @ Bonnie who commented to say that she, at first, thought those were face masks a-la Swine Flu! That cracks me up to NO END! Mental image: Kids running through sprinklers, chasing each other with water guns, laughs and giggles all around ... only stopping for quick juice box breaks, pulling down their Swine Flu masks - ahhhhh, the Summer Memories...) (but then, notice Conner not wearing a mask, yup... that'd be me... "Yeah, my mommy was too busy watching House to get me a mask... But she tells me she LOOOVES me and to eat ALL my bacon....") ...um, picture....NOW:

-3-

So. Um. Yeah. 

School's over (for a month, until he starts VBS/Summer School), which is only 7 weeks. I signed him up for two reasons: 1) MY SANITY and 2) He had just become accustomed to the routine of it all and I felt he might not only miss it, but benefit from seeing some of his friends on a regular basis. That way, I think we might avoid some of the inevitable craziness and bad behavior once Fall school starts back.

-4-

Chase woke early yesterday morning. 

Without glasses, I couldn't really see him, but I did notice the floor in front of the crib was damp. I turned off his fan, and reached down to pick him up, only to realize I was holding a baby who was naked from the waist down. It's then that I realized Chase had disrobed himself and found sport on peeing through the bars of the crib.

Fun. Times.

-5-

Naturally, I was expecting to sleep a little later than, um... too early, this morning until Chase starting stirring at 6:00. 

I made the executive decision to let him wallow in his crib till AT LEAST 7. BUT THEN?

THEN, a neighbor started to MOW HIS GRASS at about 6:50 A-FUDGING-M. 

Are you JOKING????!!!!!?!?!?!?!?! 

We live in what I call "larger than Garden Homes", we have nice sized houses but on small lots (yay! less grass to cut!), so two houses down is like... um... RIGHT IN MY EAR WHEN YOU ARE MOWING YOUR LAWN AT ANY HOUR BEFORE 8! 

Noteworthy: These are same neighbors who wrote us a not-kind-but-not-unkind note last year about how our dogs occasionally BARK at BIRDS (and leaves, and the wind, and nothing) when we let them out to PEE and RUN (Lord forbid!). We monitor our dogs' outdoor time, and ALWAYS let them in if we feel they are barking excessively (like, more than 1 minute!). Not to mention the fact that we only let them out from 8-10 (during which time they nap in the sun...), then sometime around lunch, and then they come in till dinner and then back out for a quick pee at bedtime! I mean, what the chicken? Every other neighbor has a dog (that BARKS because DOGS BARK), so seriously?

So, when Michael approached these fine neighbors (last year) about their note, he calmly asked for any suggestions, to which the man neighbor replied "Well, I'd just go get a shock collar for both of them..." WHAT? You want me to, in cruel fashion, SHOCK my INDOOR dogs for barking while they ACT LIKE DOGS? Right dude. Keep dreaming...

Maybe I'll write HIM a note about how people who aren't one foot in the grave are SLEEPING at 6 in the morning. And when he asks if I have any suggestions, I'll recommend a shock collar for when he feels the urge to mow so early....

-6-

I was so incredibly exhausted yesterday that I let my children have Vanilla Wafers and Mott's Natural Fruit Snacks for two meals. 

Yup. 

Sue me.

-7-

In case you haven't read my "maybe, baby posts", I'd suggest starting here , and then there are 3(?) other posts on the same topic... I have one follow-up post for this weekend. Woot!

For more Quick Takes, head on over to the Conversion Diary.